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ken*again
, the literary magazine  
         
   

ken*again
is a quarterly, nonprofit e-zine presenting a
hearty, eclectic mix of prose, poetry, art and photography:
accessible, obscure, soothing, disturbing.

Wrap your mind around a good read.
 



 



Poetry


The Dead Are Without Friends  Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
Say What?  Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
The South China Sea  Patrick Pomeroy
Summer of 1990  Patrick Pomeroy
An Aging North Eastern Bluff On An Island In The Atlantic   Patrick Pomeroy
The Psychiatrist  Rebecca Lu Kiernan
Dog's body  Nicky Marsh
Melancholy  Jeff Foster
Afterlife   Jeff Foster
Water Stain  Jeff Foster
the cairngod  Radu Dima
the idea of north  Radu Dima
through the woods  Radu Dima
Shampooey!  Scott Malby
Short Pieces  Kelley Jean White
Depth Gauging  Kimberly L. Becker
The Girl in Formaldehyde  Kimberly L. Becker
Sixteen  Kimberly L. Becker
Jumbo Plastic Baby Face  Corey Cook
Mud Season  Corey Cook
What I Would Like to Say to My Uncle  Corey Cook
Even in Bliss  
William C. Houze
Translating a Lake  Emma Leavey
In Alonei Abba  Emma Leavey
Grandmother Crone  Emma Leavey
Something Different  Aurora Antonovic
Adding "Blur" To A Snapshot  Maurice Oliver
12 Stanzas In A Taxi  Maurice Oliver
A Bobby Pin & An Electric Socket  Maurice Oliver
"Skip #73" Sonnet  Maurice Oliver
Ignoring The Super-Crazy-Ultra-Wide  Maurice Oliver
V. A. Case 45789AA  Robert L. Harrison
Crossing Over  Robert L. Harrison
Smoke  Joseph Lewis
Clouds  Joseph Lewis
Dust Devil  Pete Lee
Soularoid  Pete Lee
The Unrealist  Pete Lee
Loops  Howard Good
The Roofers  Howard Good
Litany  Howard Good

Prose      

The Last Party  Jack Swenson
The Language of Flowers   Alice Folkart
Some Things My Sister Left Behind  Lockie Hunter
Days Like This  Eric D. Lehman  
Hard Break  Will Orr-Ewing  
Homebrew   Saro Bedian
Hitching to London   Steve Wheeler

Serial 

The Fall of a Hunter  Dipita Kwa 

Art

Faucet  Carolyn Schlam
Sleep Tight  Carolyn Schlam
The Stargazer  Carolyn Schlam
Woman in a Box  Carolyn Schlam
Hidden Value  Amy Chace and Paul Benincasa
Carla the Seer  Amy Chace and Paul Benincasa
A Lost King  Jeremiah Stansbury
Life on Earth  Jeremiah Stansbury
The Jazz Solo  Jeremiah Stansbury
Phonographt  Michael Szewczyk
Bloody Nose  Michael Szewczyk
Watering Hole  K. G. Weiss

And another thing... 

Sting of the Be; beyond the postmodern aesthetic   Scott Malby


 

CONTRIBUTORS

 


Aurora Antonovic 
(poetry) is a Canadian freelance writer and visual artist.  She has had two one-woman shows, and partaken in a number of group shows.  She currently writes on women's issues and politics for Canadian publications, and is the former co-editor and columnist of the now-defunct GT Times.  Her poetry has recently appeared in Sidewalk's End, Reflections Journal, Poet's Pen, and Poetic Voices, where she was the featured poet for the month of May.  She is slated to appear in other publications later this year.   aurora_antonovic@yahoo.com

Kimberly L. Becker 
(poetry) has recent or forthcoming poems in The Baltimore Review, Georgetown Review, The Healing Muse, South Carolina Review, Stone Table Review, storySouth, Westview and Words-Myth, among other journals.  She has also held a state grant (NJ) in fiction and her short fiction has appeared in Parting Gifts.  A native of the American South, she  lives with her family in the Washington, D.C. area.   malinoiskim38@yahoo.com

Saro Bedian (prose) is twenty four years old, has been to college for two years and has spent a few years working.  He has not left his parents house yet.  He lives in Connecticut near the Eugene O' Neil residence in New London, a few towns away.  His family is of pure Armenian descent and he has strong ties to his background.  Mr. Bedian is very interested in going back to see the old country and possibly live there, becoming an all-purpose artist.  He is a musician as well as a writer and enjoys other forms of art.   Bedian@hotmail.com

Paul Benincasa 
(art)
grew up in Queens, New York where his first exposure to art came from copying drawings from comic books.  “ I believe my love of the figure came from the highly stylized drawings of my favorite comic artists.  I got older and became more aware of illustrators working in comics which opened more avenues to fine art.”  In 1989 Paul was accepted to The School Of Visual Arts, where he majored in Illustration.  “I feel that at SVA I had the opportunity to learn from some of the greatest men and women in the field today.  The Instructors were very passionate about teaching and about art.”  The drawing technique that he uses is a direct result from his studies with Jack Endwelt, former chairman of the Illustration and Cartooning department.   “Jack was an amazing teacher;  he definitely pushed me and I have to say that I still hear his voice in my head. “  All his instructors had a lot to do with his development as an artist especially Glen Hansen, James Mcmullen, Garin Baker and Stan Martucci   In 1996 the artist began studying drawing at the Art Students League with Peter Cox.  “Peter’s class offered me a chance to just draw the figure and not worry about how perfect it had to be.”   With this in mind he came back to just studying the figure as almost an abstraction taking pieces of a larger image and concentrating on how light moves on the human body.  He believes that the beauty lies in the contrast between light and dark and he will play up that contrast wherever possible.     paulbenincasaart@hotmail.com

Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal (poetry) works in the mental health field in Los Angeles, CA.  His first book of poetry, Raw Materials, was published by Pygmy Forest Press.  His poems have appeared in Free Verse, Pemmican, and Zygote In My Coffee.   Cuatemochi@aol.com

Amy Chace (art) is a NYC based freelance photographer.  She learned from the best, Mom and Dad.  She is intrigued by human interaction and mis-interaction.  Her work has been seen in Time Out New York, Girlfriends, GO, JestRockpile and others.   twinreflex@mac.com
 
Corey Cook (poetry) lives in Contoocook, NH with his wife and two cats.  His work is scheduled to appear in Ad Hoc Monadnock Online, Ceremony, Entelechy International, Eskimo Pie, Mobius, Nerve Cowboy, Parnassus Literary Journal and Pegasus.  He works at a not for profit and is
one of the editors of The Orange Room Review.   coreydcook@hotmail.com

Radu Dima (poetry) is from Romania, 19-years-old and a student of philosophy.  He has been writing poetry for a few years, both in English and Romanian, and after reading some of the major online poetry journals has decided to try his luck at being published.  dimaradu@gmail.com

Alice Folkart (prose) has few illusions, is over 60, married, and husband hasn't noticed that she writes.  She has been writing since she could and has lived in Los Angeles most of her life.  She cannot seem to achieve physical escape velocity; however, her mind and soul are still making attempts.  Ms. Folkart's poetry has appeared in Niederngasse—arginalia and will be appearing in the spring issue of Mindfire;  short stories have been published by Long Story Short, and Nights and Weekends

Jeff Foster (poetry) is influenced by Gustav Klimt and Hieronymus Bosch.  He tries to create nebulous pictures of spirituality with his art.  His work is currently in Tar Wolf Review and Steamticket.  Mr. Foster lives in Missouri with his wife Pam and teenager Kassie, where he runs his own cleaning business.  kas@asde.net

Howard Good (poetry) is a j
ournalism professor and the author of a poetry chapbook.  He has poems appearing now or soon in Lily, Armada, Remark, Eclectica, and Right Hand Pointing. howiebarbg@hotmail.com

Robert L. Harrison (poetry) earned a B.A. from Stony Brook University and an advanced study degree from Hofstra University in Instructional Communications.  Robert is a historian, as well as a playwright, poet and photographer.  He has researched and published articles on Long Island's historic past and has presented lectures on forgotten Long Islanders, the Island's baseball history, and presentations on Long Island poets.  Robert's plays "Bloom & O'Hara," "Confessions of a Shakespeare Addict" and "The Long Island Dead Poets Society" have all been presented on Long Island.  He has published over 400 poems in his own poetry books, as well as in magazines and literary journals.  In 1995, one of Robert's poems received a Grammy nomination in the spoken word category and he co-authored the children's book "Goblin Giggles" with Gene Fehler, published by Simon & Schuster.  Robert has served as the poetry judge for the Freeport Council of the Arts Celebration of Poetry contest for Nassau County high school students.  As a photographer, Robert has been written about in Newsday and the New York Times.  His photographs have been shown in more than 100 exhibits across Long Island.   Among his many photographic awards is a 2004 Folio Award from the Long Island Coalition for Fair Broadcasting and an Award of Excellence from the Art League of Long Island.  Robert was recently listed in Marquis Who's Who in America.   harrisonbd@hotmail.com

William C. Houze (poetry) living in Phoenix, is saving his money for life aboard a trawler out of Key West.  whouze54@hotmail.com

Lockie Hunter (poetry) is a long time resident of Appalachia and of San Francisco, and attends Boston's Emerson College where she is pursuing her MFA in creative writing.  Her fiction and essays have been published or are forthcoming in The Morning News, Southern Hum, The Emerson Review, Seattle Writergrrls and Muscadine Lines; a Southern Journal. Lockie_Hunter@emerson.edu

Rebecca Lu Kiernan (poetry) has published in MS Magazine, Asimov's Science Fiction and numerous books and magazines in the U.S. and Australia.  Her first poetry collection, "Sex With Trees..." was published by 2 River PressYgdrasil Press published her second collection, "The Man Who Remembered Too Much."  She was nominated for a Rhysling award for the cautionary tale, "When a Snake Bites You in the Ass."   She lives on the Gulf Coast.  geckogalpoet@hotmail.com

Dipita Kwa (serial) was born in Tiko, Republic of Cameroon, and raised in the village of Mondoni Native.  He received a B.Sc in Economics and is still dreaming of seeing his collection of eight short stories in print after successful online publications of three in the Crossing Borders Magazine and ken*again.   titann5@yahoo.com

Emma Leavy (poetry) is a Londoner living in Israel, where she teaches English.  Her current obsessions are Greek mythology, garage punk music and trying to be organized.  Emma has had poetry and short fiction published in Megaera, and poetry published in M.A.G, Poetry Super Highway, and The Rose & Thorn.   emmaleavey1@hotmail.com

Pete Lee (poetry) lives with his wife in Ridgecrest, California, a small town in the Mojave Desert midway between Mount Whitney and Death Valley.  His poetry has recently been published online at Armada, Perigee, Quill & Ink, and Right Hand Pointingpete.lee@mchsi.com

Eric D. Lehman (prose) is a Professor of English at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut and has published travel stories, fiction, essays, and poetry in various journals, such as Hackwriters:  The International Writer’s Magazine, INK, Nature’s Wisdom, Niederngasse, Simply Haiku, Travelmag, Ultraverse, Bluegreenearth,and others.  elehman@bridgeport.edu

Joseph Lewis (poetry) has published poetry in various print and ezines including ken*again, Sunspinner and sometime city.  He lives in Virginia.
ezwriter101@excite.com

Scott Malby (poetry) digs deep for bones along the Pacific Coast in Coos Bay, Oregon.  He'll promise you anything if you scratch him in the right place.   beowolf2@harborside.com

Nicky Marsh (poetry) is a young writer and poet from Bradford, UK.  She was the winner of the first Linghams Short Story Competition, and has had work published in The Cerebral Catalyst.  She appears in the anthology "Just a Kiss," November 2006.   nicky_marsh@hotmail.com

Maurice Oliver (poetry) returned to America in 1990 after spending almost a decade working as a freelance photographer in Europe . Then in 1995 he made a lifelong dream reality by traveling around the world for eight months, recording his experiences in a journal instead of taking pictures.  And so began his desire to be a poet.  His poetry has appeared in The Potomac Journal, Circle Magazine, The MAG, Tryst3 Journal, Eye-Shot, Pebble Lake Review, Megaera, The Surface, Wicked Alice, Word Riot, Taj Mahal Review (India), Stride Magazine (UK), Dandelion Magazine
(Canada), Retort Magazine (Australia), & online at unlikelystories.org, girlswithinsurance.com, subtletea.com, interpoetry.com (UK), kritya.in (India), & blueprintreview.de (Germany) and elsewhere. He lives in Portland, Oregon, where he is a private tutor.
mo97201@yahoo.com


Will Orr-Ewing
(prose) has just graduated from Oxford, and has moved to London in the hope of becoming a writer.  He does some tutoring to pay the bills and has had a few stories published in Oxford student magazines.  He is looking to gain wider notoriety through publication in e-zineswillorrewing@googlemail.com

Patrick Pomeroy (poetry) is 39 and has been writing since he was nine.  He lives in San Rafael, California.   patrick_pomeroy@yahoo.com

Carolyn Schlam (art) is a painter and glassmaker originally from New York and now living and working in Miami, Florida.  She's a graduate of Harpur College and studied art with Norman Raeben in Carnegie Hall and glassmaking at Urban Glass.  She works in oil, mixed media, collage, fused and cast glass and now combines glass with clay and metal.  She has a large body of diverse work and accepts commissions in glass and other media.  Ms. Schlam has a show of her sculpture at the Jacksonville Airport until January 31st.  Visit her website at carolynschlam.com.    carolynschlam@aol.com

Jeremiah Stansbury
(art) graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, Art History cum laude, from The College of Communication and Fine Arts, The University of Memphis,  in 2003.  He spent a semester at The School of Visual Arts in New York City (painting) and a semester at the Memphis College of Art (drawing, design).  His exhibitions in Memphis, TN include:  Art Show at St. Georges Elementary School, March 2002; “New Works on View” Midtown Artists Market, August 2002; “Oil Paintings by Jeremiah Stansbury”, D’Edge Art and Unique Treasures, February 2003; “A Fresh New Look”, Painted Planet Art Space, August 2003, Universal Art Gallery to present.  He won the Jim Blevins Foundation scholarship to study Art History at The University of Memphis:  January 2000-January 2003.  Mr. Stansbury spent time in Florence, Italy in 2003 while conducting a close study of sculpture relating to the human anatomy in an attempt to further develop his ideas concerning abstract painting.   jstansbury@midsouth.rr.com

Jack Swenson (prose) is a native of Minnesota who escaped and fled to sunny California.  His book of short short fiction, Menage a Trois will soon be available at Amazon.com.  His stories have appeared recently in Pindeldyboz and Underground Voices, and another will be in an upcoming issue of Noo Journal..

Michael Szewczyk (art) is a 33 year old visual artist, writer and musician.  He has been published in Say...Why Aren't We Crying (from Fortress of Words), on winamop.com (as THETEXTBEAK) and was almost nominated for a rhysling award for his poetry.  He resides in Ohio and writes weird electronic music.  His latest musical release is "Textbeak— The Thrush EP."  textbeak@yahoo.com

K. G. Weiss (art) is a self-taught Delaware Bay-based artist.  He has had many shows and exhibitions in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.  The K. G. Weiss Gallery of Fine Art is located in Millville, New Jersey.   Rhythmstk@aol.com

Steve Wheeler (prose) is an Ottawa writer.  His stories can be seen on laurahird.com, thievesjargon.com, eclectica.org, dogmatika.com and others.  stevellie@hotmail.com

Kelley Jean White (poetry) was born and raised in New Hampshire, has degrees from Dartmouth College and Harvard Medical School, and has been a pediatrician in inner-city Philadelphia for the past twenty years.  She has nearly 2,000 poems accepted or published by more than 350 journals including American Writing, The Café Review, Chiron Review, Feminist Studies, The Larcom Review, Minnesota Review, Nimrod, Poet Lore, Rattle, and Whiskey Island Magazine, as well as several chapbooks and full-length collections of poetry:  The Patient Presents I am going to walk toward the sanctuary (Via Dolorosa Press), At the Monkey-Feast Table (Zebook Company),  Late (The People's Press) and Against Medical Advice (Puddinghouse Publications.)  Ms. White received a Pushcart nomination for an experimental piece (from Gravity Presses) in 2000, her first year of submission,  and again in 2002.  She has read her work throughout the Philadelphia area and in Delaware, New Hampshire, New Jersey and New York and is a featured reader during the 2004-2005 Free Library of Philadelphia reading series.  She has been identified as a "Peace Poet," reflecting her active membership in the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) and for involvement with Poets for Peace locally, nationally, and internationally.  Her book, A Gilford Offering, was published in October 2004.   kelleywhitemd@yahoo.com 

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The Last Party   Jack Swenson
The Language of Flowers  
Alice Folkart
Some Things My Sister Left Behind   Lockie Hunter
Days Like This   Eric D. Lehman

Hard Break   Will Orr-Ewing
Homebrew
  
Saro Bedian
Hitching to London  
Steve Wheeler.

 


 

 

 

 

The Last Party                                               

by Jack Swenson 

                                                      
   
hen they wound their way up the hill through the pine trees and saw the house, Jack told his wife that it reminded him of The Big Chill.  The stately old house, with porches running the entire length of both floors in front, had the look of a southern mansion.  The grounds were extensive.  There was a small structure called the tea house halfway down the hill, a small enclosure with a larger corral for the cows, a chicken house and pen off to one side.  The house itself, though imposing at first glance, was not very large.  There were only two bedrooms.

The greeting given them by their host and hostess was warm but solemn.  They were there for a party, but it was an occasion that was bittersweet, one last party, a fitting sendoff for their dead friend.

Mark died from a heart attack, not by his own hand.  So there was not that additional tragedy to their gathering.  He died of what Hal, a doctor, referred to as a myocardial infarction, the kind of event that is often accompanied by the adjective "massive" when the sad news is given out.  In other words, their friend had died, and they had been invited by other friends, Bill and Janey, to a party in Mark's honor at their retirement home on Gull Lake.  One last party.  For a man who dearly loved to party.  But didn't they all?  And hadn't they done so, year after year, until over time most of them simply ran out of steam?

Janey ushered them into the house and into the living room.  Bev and Skip were sitting on the couch.  Bev got up, wrapped her arms around Jack, and whispered in his ear.  Jack shook hands with Skip, then he introduced his wife Katie to both of them.  "Watch that guy," Jack said to Katie.  "He's a child molester."  Skip grinned his most lascivious grin.

Paul was there, Shorty and Liz, too, and Alice Kirkwood who had hopped on a plane in Boston to be there.  So were the contingent of widows, Inga, Mary Lou, and Lindy.

The wine was in the kitchen, Janey announced.  The beer was in the refrigerator, she said.  Help yourself.  There were soft drinks, too.  Jack got a Coke and brought a glass of red wine back for Katie.  He wandered up to Paul who was looking out the window and grinning his crooked grin.  He hadn't seen his old roommate for forty years.  "Talk to me," Paul said.  They talked.  The forty years melted away.  It was as if they picked up their last conversation where they had left it.  "What are you reading these days?" Paul asked.  Since he had retired, he had become a real couch potato, he said.  All he did was sleep, eat, and read.

After dinner, Jack stood up to deliver a more-or-less impromptu eulogy.  Janey had asked him to get the ball rolling only an hour or so earlier.  They would all chime in later with their favorite Mark stories, she said.  Jack recalled the time that he and Mark got pulled over by a cop after drinking beer for about six hours in a bar waiting for Chet Baker to show up.  The trumpeter finally made it, drunk and stoned, and several hours late.  He and Mark weren't in the best of shape either, when they left the bar, Jack said.  The cop decided that Jack was too drunk to drive, so he told him to change places with Mark.  Mark opened the door on the passenger side and fell out onto the roadway.  He picked himself up, walked around the car, got in, and they drove away.  The cop just stood there shaking his head.

You could get away with stuff like that in the old days, Jack said.

Later they all chimed in.  Someone told about the time that Mark "stole" a car, driving off in a car identical to his, and bringing it back the next day only to discover that his car was on the lawn in the backyard.  Inga remembered the weekend the whole gang had stayed at Lindy's parents' lake cottage, and Bill got mad at Milt and hitch-hiked home, a journey of some two-hundred miles, and was sitting on the front steps of their apartment when Skip got home.  Of course everybody laughed at Shorty remembering how he used to get red-faced drunk and shout at the top of his lungs, "Let's get drunk and BE somebody!"  The stories went on and on.

By ten o'clock, however, the first defectors began to leave.  Alice was staying in the spare bedroom; the rest had rooms in local motels.  Jack and Katie were staying in Nisswa, a few miles away.  The next day some more socializing was planned and a dinner in a local restaurant for those who could stay.  Jack said they had to get back to Minneapolis early because his son and his wife and daughter were flying in from Singapore that evening.

Bill was drunk, of course, but he was the only one.  Even Alice, whom Jack had suspected was a full-blown alcoholic, was sober.  She had nursed one glass of wine all evening.

How the mighty have fallen, thought Jack, and he and the other old codgers got into their cars and were spirited into the night.

Katie drove back to their motel.  She had fun, she said.  They minded their p's and q's picking their way back to the highway by reading Janey's directions backward.  When they were safely on their way, Katie asked Jack what Bev had whispered in his ear when they first arrived.  "Oh, she kidded me for robbing the cradle again," he said.  But that wasn't what she had actually said.  What she said was, "I'll never forget that night."  Jack hadn't forgotten it, either, but he wished he could.  It was a dumb thing to do.  Even if her husband didn't care.

 

 

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The Language of Flowers                              

by Alice Folkart 



was seventeen.  He was thirty, a poet who owned a very hip coffee house.  He'd hired me to wait tables, this was my second night, and now, at two a.m., after we'd locked up, he said, "Alice, you're so tense, you've got to relax.  Let me help you baby."

He led me to the back of the coffeehouse.

After his wife had thrown him out of their house, he'd moved into the store, curtained off a space, wedged in a narrow cot, painted the walls dark red, and hung mirrors and set candles everywhere.

"Lie down there, Alice," he whispered conspiratorially.  "You know, to make this therapy work, you should be naked, free of fetters."

I must have shown my surprise, because he added, "This is strictly clinical, honey.  I just want to help you.  Consider me as your therapist."

I'd never been to a therapist, nor to a doctor where I had to take off my clothes, but I was afraid he'd think me bourgeois and uptight, so I pretended nonchalance and stripped off my dress.  I lay down in my bra and panties.

"Ah, Alice," he sighed.  "You might as well stay dressed.  I can't help you like that."

I shivered, and took them off too, feeling skinned.  No one had seen me naked since I was three.  He smiled.

The deflowering was gentle and poetic.  I felt loved.  No one had ever loved me.  I wasn't alone anymore.  I left at dawn deliriously happy.  Vahan and me!  A man!  Who would have thought!

I stayed late the next two nights, and lay with him, imagining us married as soon as he got his divorce, running the coffee house, he writing poetry, becoming famous, me helping him, maybe writing too, la, la, la, la.

Saturday night, the biggest night of the week, the place was full.  Tips were generous.  We were busy.  Then, the twins came in, dark, willowy, self-assured, looking like a double vision of Audrey Hepburn.  I knew I was finished.  Vahan served them, gave them free éclairs, made himself a Viennese coffee, sat down with them.  I raced from table to table, burned myself with steam from the espresso machine, washed cups, and took orders while they sat and giggled.  The crowd dwindled, and Vahan came over to me.  "These girls need a lift home.  You close.  Go on home.  Don't wait for me."

I did anyway.  I sat and cried on the edge of 'our' bed until four a.m.  Then, I got the long, serrated, tomato-slicing knife from the kitchen and slit his sheets from top to bottom.  It didn't make me feel better. I walked home into the dawn.

He must have felt guilty.  Came all the way across town to my tiny apartment.  He knocked and knocked.  I didn't answer.  Hours later, when I opened the door, a long-stemmed red rose fell from the doorknob.

Didn't he know that you can't give the flower back?

 

 



                                                                                                        
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Some Things My Sister Left Behind                

by Lockie Hunter 

                                                                         

ne doll with a painted white face and a delicate purple fan that our father brought back from Chinatown (Exxon station bathroom, just outside of Memphis)

One yellow plaid hair ribbon with her name, Aimee, embroidered in purple script (Samuel Jackson playground, Memphis)

Two tonsils (Doctor Simmons office, Memphis)

Three Judy Bloom books (under bunk number seven, cheerleading camp, Nashville)

One retainer (boyfriend’s house, Memphis)

One trophy, “Best Poetry 1976: Samuel Jackson Junior High” (bedside table, bedroom, Boston)

One 1980 Toyota Corolla, white with beige interior: totaled (Peabody Service and Towing, Memphis)

One letter from dad encouraging her to “excel in her studies and drive carefully dammit now that she is up there in Yankeeland” signed “I love you so much baby” (shoebox under bed, Boston)

Twenty five assorted love letters from seven different boys dated 1982-2006 (shoebox under bed, Boston)

Five little black dresses (hanging in closet, bedroom, Boston)

Three unpaid speeding tickets (sitting on desk under three day old Starbucks mocha latte, home office, Boston)

Two “respectable” business suits, both heather gray (hanging in closet, bedroom, Boston)

Two unfed cats sitting on the windowsill, waiting (kitchen, Boston)

Three pairs of blue jeans: two faded Levi boot cut size 7M with butt and knees missing, one Guess slim fit size four never worn (bureau, bedroom, Boston)

One unfinished memoir titled “My Life in Words” (C:drive, home office, Boston)

Four pints of blood (Massachusetts Turnpike between Boston and Cambridge)

One recipe for asparagus with pecan brown butter (recipe box, kitchen, Boston)

One 1987 VW bug, sunflower yellow with cloud white interior; totaled (Commonwealth Service and Towing, just off the Massachusetts Turnpike between Cambridge and Boston)

Nineteen detailed photo albums recording her unfinished life (knotty pine bookshelf, living room, Boston)

One antique wedding gown, circa 1948, found at garage sale (HOPE chest, foot of bed, Boston)

One sister, twenty two years old, on computer, writing, (Memphis)

One detailed “incident resulting in loss of life” form 192B filed in triplicate (Cambridge Police station, District Six Station, Cambridge)

One mother, forty nine years old, deciding between five little black dresses and two “respectable” suits to bring to funeral parlor (bedroom closet, Boston)

 

 



                                                                                                        
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 Days Like This                                                       

by Eric D. Lehman 



  can smell the autumn coming, I think, as I walk across campus to my morning class.  The brisk wind grants a snap to the air that wasn’t noticeable before.  Every year it seems to start earlier.  I greet a student in high heels and sweatpants who moans that she had stomach flu.  “I’m going to the health center.”  I shrug, not caring if she comes to class, but knowing I should show some concern.  “Get well soon.” I say, and creak long legs up the stairs to my two-hundred-fiftieth class in ten years.

In the dirty classroom, complete with water stains and broken chairs, I divide my students into groups.  Only one student has done the reading and I know I should give a quiz to fail them all, but instead tell each group to read the story, looking for purpose and strategy.  “The faster you guys do this, the faster we get out of here,” I tell them, looking out the window at the yellowing trees, at life moving by on the brick walkways below.  But they waste time, laughing and recounting weekend parties, arguing about sports teams, and showing off new hairdos.  I wander around the room, joking, prodding them into action, trying to help them learn.  They ignore me, sending text messages to each other, knowing for certain that they have all the time in the world.

Maybe the stomach flu girl will die, I think cheerily, it would be the only thing that would wake them up.  Four students died in a car crash last year and it briefly energized the campus, snapping the others into a kind of attention that lasted a month or two.  Why is death the only thing that seems to make us care when we are young?  The story is “Once More to the Lake” by E.B. White, about a father taking his son to a lake that his own father had introduced him to.  Throughout the story, the father identifies with his son, but at the end realizes that he is no longer young, and will die.  No one in the room reached this conclusion, and when I tell them, they don’t seem to be fazed, packing their bookbags and flipping on their cell phones.  “Test on Wednesday!” I call out to them, but no one turns around.

I slouch back to my office, gritting my teeth, and decide to become harder and less tolerant, to abolish leniency, to make myself into the teacher I always hated.  I think of the vast reserves I have poured into others’ lives over the past ten years.  What was it for?  For that one student that I do reach, I usually answered, but not today.  Today, I feel quite certain that autumn is already here.

 

 


                                                                                                         
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Hard Break                                                   

by Will Orr-Ewing   

                                                                      
 
imon enjoyed his own company:  he found it much more interesting than other people’s.  He spent most of his time either out at the cinema or in with his computer games.  It wasn’t that he was shy; he just didn’t care much for conversation.  His sounded so plodding compared with the ones he heard at the cinema.  His voice was too toneless, too English.  So he spoke only when absolutely necessary.

One of his pet hates was a trip to the hairdresser, and the chirpy interrogation he was subjected to there.  He had learnt to seek out the immigrants:  the Armenians, the Turks, the Greeks.  Quiet artisans, he liked to think— professional, hard-working, and mute.  But over the years even these had become chatty or campy, asking in their broken English where he was at school or whether he had a girlfriend.

With his adulthood came an even worse affliction:  the driving lesson.  Here there were no distractions and no escape.  Simon had tried three different teachers in as many weeks, and each one had offered him a smorgasbord of intimate revelations, crushing local history and—he was certain—unabashed flirtation.

So it seemed an auspicious day when Simon first met Carl.  Carl drove a mobile barbershop from town to town.  Simon had entered more out of curiosity than anything else; he remembered seeing one in an old Ealing comedy.  And Carl himself had an ‘Ealing’ air about him too.  He was probably just over sixty; his hair was an immaculate white and combed through with Brylcreem.  He had caring blue eyes that looked out from a heavily-wrinkled face.

On that first meeting Carl insisted on washing the hair beforehand, and his big calloused hands tickled the back of Simon’s ears.  He snipped slowly and silently.  A radio tuned to Capital Gold provided the only noise in the background.  It all gave Simon that dreamy, stomachless sensation you get driving over a bump in the road.  He closed his eyes and luxuriated in it.

On his way out, still tingling, he noticed an old advertisement in the window.  It was a hand-written note offering driving lessons at a good price.  Inquire within, it said.

“Um, excuse me Mr. Carl, do you still…” Simon inquired, pointing to the sheet.

“Oh yes,” Carl said, “haven’t for a while mind.”

Simon booked ten lessons—one every Wednesday—and a test at the end.  Just as he had hoped, Carl brought the same mellifluous feeling to his driving-lessons as he did to his hairdressing.  They were hushed affairs, broken with Carl’s occasional, softly-spoken instructions:  “Third, if you fancy…”  Other than that, they maintained a companionable silence.

They stuck to the suburbs to begin with: quiet, residential areas with barely a car on them.  Simon found it hard to tell the neighbourhoods apart:  the odd patch of grass here or there, but mostly row after row of identical houses.

The mobile barbershop that stood guard in front of one house demarcated which neighbourhood was Carl’s.  Carl seemed to engineer it so that they passed through it at exactly the same time every week.  His house was much the same as every other in the neighbourhood but his garden was incomparable.  Simon took in a new bit of it each week.  In the middle was a golf-green of a lawn with grass like rich velvet.  An artificial slope rose from one side of it, up to their neighbour’s wall.  A rock garden interspersed with colourful shrubs cascaded down it.  On the other side was a bed of vibrantly coloured plants:  greens, purples and yellows stayed in the mind.  Flanked by the frazzled brown soil of his neighbours, Carl’s garden looked magical—even a bit ridiculous.

Every time they passed, Simon noted a woman—often on all fours—working in the garden.  She wore flowery summer dresses that showed off an athletic figure, and she exerted herself with wanton energy.  There was something voluptuous in the way she plunged her spade or pulled up a root.  As they passed, Carl would look at her intently, and proudly.  Sometimes she looked up and nodded, but often they drove by unnoticed.

Simon looked forward to his lessons with increasing zeal.  That sense of peaceful security seemed somehow inaccessible without Carl, and he felt their separation keenly during the week.  So it was a great thrill to him when, on the way home from the cinema one day, he spotted Carl’s reticent grin and the woman from the garden on the headline of the local paper.

CHILBOLTON GARDEN SHOW

FIRST PRIZE:  CARL AND MARY BARROW

He bought the paper and read it on his bed at home.  The Barrows had won two categories:  a prize for the biggest aubergine, and one for presentation.  Simon wasn’t sure why but the result over-joyed him.  At his next lesson, he cautiously asked Carl about it.

“Oh yes,” Carl said, “the wife and I love to garden.”

“And you won the garden show…”  Simon’s words faltered out.

“Well, didn’t exactly win it…only presentation for my lot.  Few problems with th’ artichokes this year.  But Mrs. Barrow’s aubergine was the biggest they ever seen almost,” he laughed.  The conversation was effortless; Simon liked his voice with Carl.  But Carl’s words had made him realise something:  he had never even heard of an aubergine or an artichoke before.  The words sounded so sumptuous on Carl’s lips.

After the lesson, he sought out the local library and borrowed a book on gardening.  All that week he lay on his bed reading; it was one of the first books he had read in years.  He read meticulously—beginning with soil type, moving on to garden layout, then seasons, then about the plants and vegetables themselves.  Aubergines were quite exotic, he read, and ideally required a greenhouse; they could be ready in as little as three or four months.  The Jerusalem artichoke, on the other hand, planted in late spring, required more patience; it took almost a year to flower.  Typical Carl, he thought.

When he wasn’t reading, he slinked to the supermarket and sidled along the ‘fruit and veg’ counter stealing tastes of all the new things he’d learnt about.  (He was well practiced after doing the same to the ‘pick n mix’ at the cinema.)  It was an almost transcendental awakening:  that first beetroot—its hard texture melting to soft mush in his mouth, the pop of a blueberry as he bit into it.  He often left with a rainbow of colours around the corners of his mouth.  He made a few mistakes:  on one occasion early on, he bit into an avocado with a crunch and worried that his yelp might attract the security guard.  But as he read more, and tasted more, he learnt which products—an aubergine, a parsnip—needed slipping into his pocket and cooking at home.

In his next lesson with Carl, Simon bubbled with conversation:  “When’s the right time to plant apples?”  “Can you still buy raspberries in the winter?”  “Is it true that the Romans used to grow wine in Scotland?”  At the end of the lesson—just as dusk was flirting with the remains of the day—Carl turned to Simon.

“I tell you what,” he said “would you be wanting to see the allotment?”

“What’s that?” Simon asked.

“What’s that!” Carl chortled.

They had to cross a railway line to get to the allotments; on the other side they spread out in a rampaging wildness.  He saw a trail of smoke rise up in the distance; tangles of vines spiralled through the air.  Simon followed Carl to his allotment and stood speechless.  His was entered through a small gate with a wooden arch crawling with roses.  It had a heart etched in the apex, through which was inscribed ‘The Barrows’, along with a picture of a wheelbarrow.  A fence ran round the outside of the allotment—marking off his territory.

“The grass is always greener,” Carl said, with his hand on the fence, “people always want what’s rightfully yours.  They say green’s the colour of envy, Simon.  And no wonder,” he chuckled.

Carl led Simon from border to border.  The allotment was divided in two:  one half for Carl, one for his wife.  Carl skipped quickly over his.  It was neat and restrained—Simon could see why it had won the award for presentation.  His wife’s half was much more dramatic, flamboyant even.  There were fruits in hers that Simon hadn’t even read about:  yellow raspberries, apricots all furry against his cheek.  He tasted a plum, and its juices oozed out into every corner of his mouth.

“It’s amazing,” Simon said.

“Aye she is,” Carl replied, “Mrs Barrow is a wonderful gardener.”  The tour culminated with her aubergine:  “She is especially good at her aubergines.”

When the tour was over, they sat under a canopy in the allotment.

“Um, will I get to meet Mrs. Barrow, Carl?”

“Oh, not here.  No, Wednesdays she works in the garden.  She’s up here Mondays and Thursdays.”  He paused in the still, summer evening.  “Such a loyal woman, Mrs. Barrow.  Only happy when she’s with her plants.”

Simon smiled.

“But…”  here Carl paused, and looked rather wistfully into the bushes, “sometimes I think Mrs. Barrow deserves a proper garden of her own.  A big place.  In the country someplace.”  He shook himself from this and together they picked some fruit for Simon to take home.  Then they strolled back to the car as night descended.

Carl was so effective a teacher that Simon couldn’t help but improve.  It was with a sinking heart that he climbed into Carl’s car for the last lesson before his test.  And Simon thought—or hoped—that he detected a similar sadness in Carl’s voice when he greeted him:

“Let’s hope this is the last lesson eh Simon…”  he said with a weak smile.

They started to follow their well-worn route:  up the duel carriageway to start with, on into the garden centre for some parking practice, ending—always at the same time—near Carl’s house where they fine-tuned some manoeuvres.  Except this time was different.  For the first time, there was heavy traffic on the duel carriageway—Simon sat silently drubbing his fingers on the steering-wheel.

“How’s Mrs. Barrow?” Simon asked

“She’ll be in the garden Wednesdays.  Only happy when she’s with her plants, Mrs. Barrow,” he said.  When there was no more movement from the traffic, he added:  “I expect we’ll see her in a minute or two.”

They squirmed out of the jam a little while later but as the mobile barbershop came into view, it was obvious that no one was home.  The lights were off, the garden deserted.  Carl had a bemused look on his face.

“Bit crowded around here for manoeuvres,” Carl said, “tell you what—let’s try the garden centre again.  Plenty of parking bays there.”

So they drove back to the garden centre and for the first time Carl seemed a bit on edge.  Maybe he was sad that the lessons were ending, Simon thought.

“Third, if you fancy,” he trilled, “now forth.  Forth, Simon.  Come on.”

There was barely a car at the garden centre.

“Left or right?” Simon asked.

“Tell you what,” Carl said, “I’m just going to…” he trailed off and got out of the car.  “Just practice some parallel parking in those bays.  Won’t be long...”

He moved to the entrance in a light jog but returned panting about five minutes later.  Now he started directing Simon with jerky, jolty instructions, almost barking them.

“Left,” he said, “Good.  Left again.  Now right.”

Soon they were at the allotment.  From the car, they had a good view of Carl’s:  but it was empty too.  Again, a distant line of smoke lifted in the distance to the sky.

Simon looked over at Carl for directions.  Carl puffed out his cheeks.

“Right,” he said, slowly, “let’s pull out here…”

 He aimlessly let Simon drive back into town—back past the garden centre, back towards his neighbourhood.

“Right, let’s do a three-point-turn in the road,” Carl said rather lackadaisically when they were back in the suburbs.  Simon started the procedure:  wheel as far as possible to the right, foot very gently off the clutch, glide round, break, apply hand-break, wing-mirror, rear-mirror, blind spot…and that’s when he glimpsed her.  Mrs. Barrow slinked out of a front-door, then turned to put her hand back through the crack, was pulled inside once more—her head leaned forward into the darkness —then she was out again, smoothing her dress down with her palms.  A small ‘smart car’ was parked outside:  ‘Benjamin and Benjamin:  Retail Development’, it said in trendy multi-coloured lettering on the side.  She had turned the other way from Simon and Carl, back towards home, and strolled off purposefully with her mousy hair bobbing as she went.

Simon completed the procedure then looked at Carl.  He had his whole body turned, looking searchingly out of the rear window.  When he turned to face the front again, he kept his face still as if any movement would be too much.  He had his lips pursed but other than that looked his usual serene self.

“Right, and pull away,” he mumbled.

They continued along the road in silence.

“Right or left?” Simon asked.  There was no response.  “Right or left?” he asked again, more pertinently.  They were nearing a junction.  “Carl!” Simon stressed, “right or left Carl?”

Carl slammed his foot on the instructor’s break and the car bounced to a halt.  They mimed each other, shunting their bodies forward then backwards sharply into the seat.  Simon panted heavily and looked at Carl.

“Left,” Carl said, “let’s go left.”

They went along in silence for awhile before Carl spoke, softly:  “I apologise for my hard breaking.”  The phrase seemed odd, to both of them.  Carl repeated it, even softer, to himself, and it got caught in his mouth:  “I apologise for my hard breaking.”  Then he just repeated the last two words in a whisper.  It was as if, by saying those words, the reality of the situation was confirmed.  He hadn’t known what he was feeling until then; now his emotions were categorised.  His body slumped visibly, as if something had passed out of him.

Simon passed his test comfortably, of course.  The following Wednesday felt strange and aimless without the driving lesson.  He went to the cinema; he tried his DVD collection, but neither lifted his spirits.  His hair was still short enough from his haircut just ten weeks before but he went to where Carl’s van had been parked—hoping for another.  The lot stood empty.

Dedicated to Julia

 

 

 



                                                                                                        
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Homebrew                                                  

by Saro Bedian


  boy in his mid teens named John lives alone with his mother.  His father is far away, has been far away for a long time, and John does not expect to see him again.  He is a quiet boy, who has many hobbies, but often does things alone.  One day, friends from school rag on him for having a model plane collection and he shoots the roof.  Finally, storming off after yelling for five minutes, he calms down enough to really hate them.  That was exactly what they wanted.  John does not know this, though.  He thinks they were just being mean and stupid, so he goes home and decides to start a new hobby.

Coming into the house John looks at his mother sitting and reading the classified section of the newspaper.  She always does this, looking for bargains and hoping to find a better job at the same time.  She takes one look at her son then glances back at the paper.

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