Prose
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Duck
Sense Lisa
Braxton
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Sun on House
in Seattle David Alexander |
The American Dream Wayne Scheer
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CONTRIBUTORS
David Alexander (art)
was a Washington native, painted as a hobby. He painted for relaxation and
therapy. He loved painting in the style of "Photo Realism"—painting
from a photo. He also took sketching classes at the Maryland College
of Art and Design. He died in 1996 from a rare form of Leukemia.
Janet
Yung (prose) lives and writes
in St. Louis. Short fiction has appeared in Writers On The River
and on-line Foliate Oak, Terrain and Flashquake. nickyung@charter.net |
by George Anderson
getting up at 7 earl grey
in the red dawn muesli
reading The Strange Case
of Jekyll & Hyde making
pencil notations in the margin
‘arouses great interest in the
reader’ or ‘inspired hatred’
night descending by degrees
over the Point at 10:40 am
the students enter FG05 we
draw a mind map & discuss
the idealistic integrity of
Atticus’s representation
the closer to town the
longer the abacus of traffic
John McLaughlin’s guitar
seamlessly transcending
the grind I cop detention
duty and mark work on
Flaubert Hardy Dickens
& Tolstoy later shop for
bananas blue berries and
peaches type more words
onto the page attempting
once again to establish some
semblance of order for the day
On Vermillion Lake
by George Anderson
1
limestone softer than granite
orange canoe blue life jacket
a boy bends to tie his shoe lace
another sits on boulder near the lake
a black dog they have called Pepper
dad telling them to paddle
towards the leash of the camera
the grand toilets of the Chateau
off-limits to the general public
2
The edges of the lake green
rock climbers notched in stone
hanging with steel clips
the mirrored symmetry
of the shimmering sky
on vermillion lake
3
a busload of elderly Japanese tourists
trek up the incline
they puff heavily
into the commercial wilderness
their cameras clicking, buzzing, flashing
documenting, recording, filming
the unusual murky colour of the glacial silt
4
the scene is like a painting
you see on fridge magnets
expressing an obvious sentiment-
there is an explanatory tourist map
(complete with the scientific names
of endangered mammals)
150 metre thick ice caps
the width of fingers
5
this poem
like the life I have excavated
has almost turned the full circle-
it is nearing completion
as you exit from these sentences
can you kindly explain to me
the sound of this wind on my chest
the latest surge in cooper and oil prices
the maligned metalanguage
the way I can learn to love literature again
The Chair
by George Anderson
1
I frame the slide against the blue sky:
His favourite chair rests next to the hay barn
its legs embedded in the melting spring ice
2
After he retired to the Valley
he had positioned the chair near the barn
where he could idle in the sun
read the stock market reports with a magnifying glass
drink whiskey, think about God,
think about the war
think about about how his minesweeper was sunk by a Nazi sub in 1944
think about his 35 years in the foundry,
think about his long deceased wife
how her death was his fault
how his own life was worthless
3
Projected on the white wall of our lounge room
I take careful note of the chair in my notebook:
‘It is a hollow steel-framed structure (circa 1965)
Thick seat & backing reinforced with plastic;
a scribbly, dotted pattern matted in a gaudy green hew’
4
After his death,
we left his chair by the barn
for a decade or more
initially as a tribute to the man
but later, as a huge hole
eventually engulfed its back,
the spilling out of the foam in-lay
its legs rusting-
as a symbolic representation
of the ‘temporalness’
of all things material
5
Now, in this rushed &
hugely vacuous present
when I think of him-
I think of his chair-
long discarded,
sitting next to the barn
with its dissembling pre-fab back
I think of that tough but fragile man
facing the sun
60th Wedding Anniversary
by George Anderson
The aging father lies comatose in the nursing home bed
mouth agape
oblivious to his wife
oblivious to his nine middle aged children surrounding his bed
oblivious to the rental television blaring from the ceiling
after a series of major strokes
he appears to have lost it
appears to have descended to an advanced vegetative state
he is unable to speak
he is unable to sit up
he lies mouth open staring at the ceiling
we stand around his bed talking
we prop him up & slide a double shot of rum into him
then another
laughing, telling old jokes, anecdotes
we take numerous digital photos
one sister (who is a nurse) explains to us he is like a plant
all they have to do is to water him
nurture him
& in the home’s 24 hour climate control
he might live to be 95, 100, maybe more
later, we get louder, someone spills a bottle,
someone laughs raucously
He shouts out clearly to no one in particular, his eyes closed,
‘When you going?’.
by Uma Asopa
Whenever I clean our room I startfrom the top shelves, give spiders time
to wind up, let silverfish crawl
from stacked books. Scratching
crusty crevices in the walls I let lime fall
and watch flakes float in air like white fog.
By the time I am done with lower levels
the lime settles on our bed
like scraped skin from an old wound.
Fallen strands of cobwebs cover it
like collapsed collagen—a scum
waiting to be cleared with a deft hand.
Before I can ease it out
into the evening's empty bin
I hear your voice from the other room:
Hurry up; have you changed the sheets?
Not all the grime is gone
by my scrupulous standards
but I make it alright for a clean cover up.
Muirfield Road, Hankok Park, LA
by Uma Asopa
The house at the corner wants to sleep.Counting the swish-swoosh of cars
through the night it waits for
thump screech of floors to stop
and the rumbling of water in the pipes to ebb.
It's late and it's cold and dark. The old
sycamore in the front has swallowed
its shadows and winds don't moan leafy whispers
any more. The house still hears soft snores
and a rustle of sheets between tossing limbs.
Before the day breaks on the roof
in a faltering pattern of life and morning
knocks with a hustle at the door
the house needs to wrap up its dreams.
Space-walk
by Uma Asopa
The sky is a cobblestone streetI can walk on without hurting my feet.
Paved with clouds of wooly vapors
it's wide; never tapers. As I walk on
its end recedes further.
Someone calls from below: "come back you dreamer".
I realize it's you standing on our lawn. You see me
as an alien; I look at you through gaps
between tall eucalyptus. Our eyes
never meet; voices echo together then disperse.
Like a magician deft at his rope trick
you raise your finger and tug me down
from that universe.
The sky-street somersaults, disappears.
by Priscilla Barton
A fact is a cold stone
It remains in place
You may argue a theory
Or debate a concept
But a fact gives no leeway
You can dance around it
Or cover it with flowers
Sooner or later
It will make itself known
It is a cold stone
And it remains in place
Easy Peasy
by Priscilla Barton
My very first lesson began:
Make two rabbit ears,
and tie them together.
Once this task was mastered,
I was left believing
all things were possible.
The world could never defeat
someone who stood
with shoelaces firmly knotted.
Educated
by Priscilla Barton
To survive this world
It is not necessary
To be a genius
One need know only
The barest of truths
This hurts
That doesn't
What could be simpler?
Rooted
by Priscilla Barton
She had forgotten to water the plants
They sat withered and dead
She rocked back and forth in her chair
Laughing, as the dust piled higher
by Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
She surrendered one last kiss
as if she meant it. In my youth
I rallied around that kiss with
my hysterical heart. That kiss
was the closest I had been to
death. I did not know it at
the time, but I do now. Her
kiss remains like a lock upon
my caged lips and tongue. Was
it worth it? I can't tell. Perhaps
when death approaches I will
find closure. Heavy hearted,
I combat the night of the last
kiss, as death bids its time.
Death Steps Out
by Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
Death stepped out on the town
on a windy spring morning.
It tapped on the shoulders of
those who seemed too young to die.
Death painted the asphalt with
blood. It bought itself a
scoop of vanilla ice cream and
voiced a death song from the
backseat of a mangled taxicab.
He sought out Mexicans,
African-Americans, and Caucasians.
It cut its hair short for the coming
summer. In June it would bring
out bucketfuls of blood, to paint
the asphalt and walls of
American's inner cities.
This is Heaven
by Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
Everyone in here
are angels and
this is Heaven.
I am the only
one that is out
of place in here.
The only thing
I have in common
with these angels
is that God talks
to me and he
commands me on
what I have to
do in His name
and for the world.
He said must spread
the word in all
psychiatric
wards in the world.
The angels don’t
believe I should
be the one God
is counting on.
They’re so jealous.
by Maryam Chahine
"I am become Death, destroyer of the worlds."—Robert J. Oppenheimer, father of the atom bombI should not have been
born. And it has only gotten worse
scaling down the generations of sin.When I soar, I then land and give curse.
There is no life from where I come.
My entrance and exit is from the same hearse.I'm in the control of rational murderers from
the world. In meetings they calculate power.
Collateral damage is a necessary sum.I arrive in terrifying showers
but no one listens to the one employed in death.
My brothers and sisters, spanning the globe laying flowers.There are fields where I gather breaths.
And there are places where I startle hope.
I Fall and I Fall. Yet they remain deaf.When I'm done, no one will be left to cope.
I was the one who did Hiroshima and the Gulf War.
And there is nothing left to cleanse with any kind of soap.You are like grains of sand, indifferent at the shore.
And I'm coming to take all of you with every sweep of water.
This is just the introduction to the grand finale I have in store.I should not have been born to perpetrate such slaughter.
O humanity! There are 400,000 Hiroshima’s in Iraq.
When are you going to get tired of the water?The environment is warming even from the smallest rock.
They are petitioning globally for you to remember
this world. Atoms are dying but you remain complacent flocks.For I wasn't born to sweep only you—so consider.
I have come for the entire sphere, for the great globe itself.
Before it is too late, I beg of you for me to dismember.
Declarations of a Quixotic Dreamer
by Maryam Chahine
An abyss met me in the road
because I decided to walk instead of run.
consented to a whisper instead of a shout. sat in the
dark instead of hiding in the light.
escaped into mystery, instead of the known.
felt every drop and didn't
gulp every glass. and decided not to
hire a detective to investigate every flaw.
I left people alone
judged only myself. the
kite misinterpreted the sky and fell in the
lake. this I found our only
mistake, but I was born unsatisfied and revised
nations into
one country called Humanity,
protecting the rights of every atom. after that I was branded a
quixotic dreamer and even a
renegade, now a target of man made weapons. yet I am not
sorry, nor will I ever be, except when I
trespass the boundary of another human being.
undaunted I dress instead of undress.
vying with anyone to tell me it is better to reveal than to protect.
why must I become a slave to male attention,
xing out my very soul because of superficial boys. please allow me to
yell, because sometimes there is nothing else. except the inevitability of
zero.
My Soul Became Coffee
by Maryam Chahine
In the end, it all came down to coffee.
A fearful procession of eyes hover above me.
The morphine leaves me without expression, expression of life.
I do not care for the exempt, exempt doctors.
Their attempts at immortality leaves me tired.
I'd rather get on, on with the severance.
I've mowed my lawn till there is nothing left.
I'm sorry Dylan, but I do want to go gentle into that good night.
Why is there so few, few to understand the need to relinquish.
In the end, my soul became coffee.
After all, all the mystique of death.
The fall was not a fall, but rather a drip.
A little of me is dripping away.
Tipping, tipping into a vast common cup.
My soul, soul is permeating
Through a meticulous bowl filter.
I drip slowly without force.
Someone is taking sips, sips of me away.
So this, this is what it is like.
It is softer than a kiss of a raindrop.
Someone is crying, but really I haven't time for such hypocrisy.
Can't they see I'm dying, dying into a pond.
There is no room for hysterics into such calm, calm.
What a balm this filter has become.
All those years of doors, ropes, lies, gates, defeat.
There were too many tears, tears for me to cup.
Leaving behind, behind all that wreckage.
Only the essential is sinking into this very kind filter.
My salt water that became an ocean
The filter with devotion, devotion sifts out the impurity.
The rust, weeds, rocks, acid, acid
Will not survive this placid drip.
The means of separation is only to percolate.
Not to saturate the intermittent expiration, expiration.
What is left is an insubstantial, insubstantial fluid
Gathering only my essential essence.
Ah, only a few more drops left.
I'm about to separate from this salty shore, shore.
Now I can enjoy my pure essence, there goes the last drip, drip, drip.
Do not worry, doctors, there is nothing left to sip.
by Robert Cullen
death
dips daily
into the Gangesmourners
tide the banks with prayers
as candles driftfresh blossoms swirl
saddhus come and go
holy pilgrims
passing through wreaths of flames
consuming
incandescent
tears of sorrows falling pungent
parched lips of longing . . .bone pickers
beggars|
sons and daughters
hobbling chains of castethe heartbeat of a child named Laxmi
playing alone
a squalid street.
Sleeping with Orcs
by Robert Cullen
The Tower of London is crumblingeven the Taj Mahal
claims not immunity
ravages to rocks hewn . . .ladies in elegant tea rooms
sipping their darjeeling
the latest fashions
beaded pastel purses
chatalains and persiflageenamored of their Empires
titles
jewel-crusted thrones
pillars of society
propping esteemed stations
with aplomb
and carriage . . . .the hoards are encroaching
hinterlands broaching
enmity
truculence
on obsidian steeds
with rasping tongues . . .hubris trussed
righteous robes of visionher Ladyship and her Lord
hear not
coarse hands chiseling
the courtyard walls.
Promises
by Robert Cullen
Those pirouettes on polished woods
are heartbreaks
turningeach time you spin from love
to your icy parlors
of ivory linen . . .promises are
strings
plucked to hollow choruses
things invisibleyet
danced on oak grains
from crystal prisms hung in windowsspectral splendors
when the sun shines.
by Carol Lynn Grellas
If her dolls would talk, they’d tell
of Babylon and China cabinets holding
them captive for years at a time.
Poor things, never living in a proper
home; sandwiched between thin glass
shelves and double doors, closed for far
too long. Every now and again light
trails in, scatters on a skein of hair,
fastens beams on a deprived braid
that misses the touch of little fingers.
Those dolls are such lonely things
keeping company with other dollish
creatures, forced to a life of pretending;
standing on their wired pedestals
hard-rings around their tiny waists.
All the while wishing for hands to caress
their soft pliable bodies. Unloved bar
the occasional Saturdays when a small cat
snakes a tail across the wooden
furniture they call home. The child
looks up, remembering how to play.
She floats gardenias in a shallow bowl
outside the breakfront, maybe hangs a tassel
for decoration from the ceiling fixture.
If her dolls would talk, they’d speak
of improper ventilation, want for air
homemade clothes and garbled tiaras.
They’ll grumble at the child growing
up too fast, a girl-mother who keeps miniature
turtles alive in her bedroom with fake palm
trees on petite plastic islands while she dreams
of escape from her malison-life; climbing
on that feline’s slinky cat-back, holding on
to a soft champagne coat, she whispers
open-sesame—the cat, humming
in purr-response, whooshes them off
to an unknown planet- where dolls
can be heard and so can she.
The True Story of Rapunzel
by Carol Lynn Grellas
It wasn’t easy being beautiful.
Born to a mother who’d trade you in
for a spoonful of rampion from another’s garden.
Sure, I was given attributes, a voice like a songbird,
little sparrow, that sends a soft trill through air,
calls to her lover with the purest notes
no pianist comparing to my perfect tune.
But it came with a menacing price,
a life of downheartedness, given happiness
only after my prince’s eye’s were pierced with thorns
blinded by a curse from the grainy voice of my mother.
The witch who cast a vermillion cloud
above my soul, for the misery she ordained me.
I was a child graced with the purest hair,
pale liquid plaits, the color of gold orchids
always falling twenty feet from my lover’s step.
And years it took to break free, unchain her spell,
become unbeautiful, skeins of silk strewn across
the tower’s floor, loped off by her cruel hand,
what was once my most treasured asset.
It was then I found him, sightless an old,
wandering wastelands in search of me.
Banned forever, somehow he heard
my melodious call, a midnight crooning.
I wept with pleasure, tears bloomed in his eyes
and he finally saw me, for the very first time
The Witch's Side of Things
(from the Story of Rapunzel)
by Carol Lynn Grellas
You call me witch, an evil woman,
with heart of worms, dead as crushed leaves,
fissures filled with wickedness throughout my soul.
Born for propagating sour love and jealously.
No I say. All words whispered by goddesses
of cherry lips with passion flying in and out,
fast as emperor moths perch on pepper trees.
Women like begging sparrows, who wait for a twig
to sing their downhearted song, prey on the grainy
voice of another’s ugliness, to call notice
to their beauty, their piano sound of an aria,
and oh how lovely they are, with their flaxen hair
growing stairs to the heavens, as every prince appears
one lover after the next who will never be mine.
I am no witch; I am the giver of divinity.
But for my wretchedness, who would notice
the gift of an Eve-like woman?
So fine, with her shapeliness, her forget-me-not eyes.
It is I who defines them, as they peer into my garden
pleading for green and vermillion leafed fare.
Come here, you owner of loveliness,
stand in my misery and tell me
you would not cut the hair of another
so supremely blessed.
Warning Label Ignored
by Carol Lynn Grellas
You married a woman named Bedlam
who once was a spy. I’ve seen her double
agent trench coat hidden between the Chanel.
Inside both pockets she carries silver bullets.
She was between jobs needing to make ends meet.
Capturing the enemy was confusing for awhile
since mingling with both sides, she sometimes forgets
which one’s hers, having spells of amnesia
from too many dirty martinis. Her last antagonist,
almost did her in. I’ve heard her talking to Central,
she speaks 20 languages and swears in French
mixing phrases like, Je t’aime, so you’ll find her appealing.
Everyone knows French mon frere, they just keep it hidden
for the sake of mystique. I’m not practiced in espionage,
but I know better than to serpentine around, conducting
covert operations in such an obvious way.
She waves her finger-weapons back and forth,
sending blood-darts from poison veins.
I pray you’ll stop the madness, end the charade,
hoping she doesn’t aim fire, before you wakeup
and finally say, “Bullshit!”
Why Won't I?
by
Carol Lynn Grellas
Because I wear my lipstick every evening,
A waxy barrier preventing the messy kiss
you’ve called me on many a time.
Surrender, now?
Come here and press yourself against me,
let me smear this Hollywood Pink
all over your chiseled face.
Be careful
While I release my tattooed passion,
the color of summer hydrangeas
before the gardener aluminum-sulfate’s their bloom.
My fear?
Birthing a million shades of blue
within a chaotic universe of fever
from one lobed, lip to lip brush of the skin.
Promise…
You will wear my mouth forever
by Michael D. Grover
She has me reach into a drawer
Take out a brush
And brush her hair.
I guess it feels good to her.
Her own hands now too weak
To hold a brush.
Brush glides lightly
Through silvery hair.
Harder I'm not tenderheaded.
She says.
I brush harder.
When I am done her hair
Looks pretty much the same
As when I started.
I guess she feels better.
Later at the dinner table
She speaks of having her hair brushed.
My father and I
Both say that we did it.
We look at each other realizing we've been conned.
She just smiles knowingly.
The Child By the River
by Michael D. Grover
Family walks child
Barely old enough to walk
Up and down the stairs
Down by the river
Side by side they walk
Screams of joy and laughter escaping
The child runs
To the edge of the water
Starts to jump in
Grandmother grabs him
As they carry him away
Kicking and screaming
Because he wanted to
Throw himself in
He looks up at me as they pass
With crystal blue eyes
Poet sitting on a bench
Writing
He stops crying for a second
As our eyes meet
Curious eyes
Taking in the world
Then he starts screaming again
Ode To A Homeless Dog
by
Michael D. Grover
Dog stays curled under blanket
Loyal to it's master
Hunched over on the sidewalk
Next to it.
Something to catch the change
A cardboard sign.
The forecast says
Later today
It will snow.
I wonder where they will go.
Dog stays curled under blanket
Loyal to it's master.
Dreaming of better dog days.
The city rushes by.
Survival
by Michael D. Grover
Sparrow with a broken neck,
Flip floppin' on hard concrete.
Head sideways trying to eat.
Some sort of sick spectacle
As spectators walk by.
Death dance,
Struggling to survive.
Tomorrow,
We may pass it dead.
End of life's cycle.
Now wings beating frantic.
Fighting with last bit of energy
To survive.
The Void Of Florida
by Michael D. Grover
We get home
When the sun comes up.
Four AM
Driving
The foggy Florida void.
Three people sleeping
Elsewhere in the car.
Hip hop and spoken word
Loaded in the MP3 player
To keep me going.
Returning from another
Road trip adventure.
by Karen Kelsay
She unwraps the newspaper
and lifts it from the box,
palm trees and red rooftops promenade
across her beloved watercolor.
Back in her early twenties,
she caught the bus to meet sailors
in that ball room, and danced
all night to big band music.
Pictures of royalty and movie stars
lined the hallways, behind
gold frames. Chandeliers
hung in the lobby.
There, she sunbathed on the Silver Stand
while naval ships passed by.
Now, sea scents fill her mind,
as eighty-year old fingers trace
the glass.
Staring at the ragged palm
outside her desert home,
she squints her eyes—and pretends
she’s in San Diego.
The Parental Dance
by Karen Kelsay
It always had to be his way, and she
knew it: his money, his rules.
When he was displeased, she would
do her pacifying dance—sometimes with
reluctance, but it was still a dance,
a well rehearsed display of twisting
and tapping, all around the kitchen.
Now he's old and slow, plagued by
a fading memory. His rules are lost,
and her own feet no longer skitter
across the linoleum. She controls
the home and finances; now and then
she tries to teach him her old dance—
but he's grown too fat to bend.
A Fist of Roots
by Karen Kelsay
Some shadow filled evening, when the moon
settles her pale light upon my trellis,
you will call me—
as silently as leaves alternate.
I’ll look between each rolling hour, while vine
blossoms grasp the ghostly mist. Perhaps
you will move the elements?
Long grass that hems the brook may quiver,
or a wood sparrow will chant her song
at the perfect moment, beneath an arch of maples.
By the looming hill, my secret obelisk to you,
I’ll clutch a fist of roots—and quietly wait for a sign.
by Joseph Lewis
A toy yellow truck in the grass
reminds me of William Carlos Williams.
And a toy tractor tipped on its side
makes me think of The Grapes of Wrath.
The sky makes me want to read Dante
and trees make me believe I'm still alive!
The blue pool outside reminds me of Heaven
where everyone is floating in another world.
This girl in a bikini needs a sonnet,
maybe from Shakespeare if he was still here.
But he's buried in his home town in England
after telling everyone that life is a dream.
Perfection
by Joseph Lewis
My old blue shoes are perfect
and so are my old brown glasses,
and the cloudy sky is perfect too
as blue wildflowers are blooming
near a dumpster filled with trash--
nevertheless the stars will return
and the moon will come out again,
I've seen them in the morning stillness
as the sun rises over the pines,
and an oak tree outside my window
growing from a single twig.
Storm
by Joseph Lewis
Sitting in a darkening room
I'm waiting for a summer storm.
And everything seems new again.
I've gone back to my youth
watching the trees bend
before a hurricane.
Now in a room grown dark
by colliding clouds
I'm waiting for the rain.
Cool
by Joseph Lewis
I like all the cool things in America:
TV, hot rods, hot dogs and beer!
And rock n' roll with King Elvis,
and Tinker Bell with her naughty smile,
and a roller coaster to the moon!
Mostly I like the beer and dogs,
the dogs of summer when I was eighteen,
beach-blanket bingo with Annette,
Mickey-Mouse eyeglass and bra too,
run down to the sand castle woe,
we built them together Annette and me,
yeah under the orange day-glo sky,
I had a rocket in my pocket,
zippo lighter and zip up his lips,
telling all my secrets to the girls,
a hot-rod dog watching too much TV.
by Lyn Lifshin
dark on the way to the train
slight glow of oak leaves
dark cape of stars,
a bolero night
think of a dancer in
the tangled branches, hips
a flaming corsage.
Smoke swirls,
deer in my blood
leaping, their
own bolero
This coldness is
wild for fire
After the Snow
by Lyn Lifshin
you see a church that
looks like its closed.
Nobody swept the
steps. The sign says
morning worship
starts at 11 AM and
it is 20 minutes after
that. But you see only
one set of foot steps
leading in and none
coming out
by Scott Malby
Thin king of the perceptual maze; a butterfly wing floats
in a blue lagoon surrounded by water lilies
on an embroidered robe. Iridescent. For a short time only.Among the most beautiful flowers in the Chinese garden
are the children, watching a squirrel nibble at a drunkard's nuts.
An ambulance takes the squirrel away.We don't know. We overhear things.
To be taken by surprise is to accept responsibility
for something not ours.A traveler wakes in a bathtub packed with ice,
weeping from his teeth, missing something from an interior place,
realizing all heroes are dead.It's hard. Will you always love me deeply?
Will you always care? I was raised to be a disappointment.
At night this pavilion fills with ghosts.
by Carla Martin-Wood
Skylarks never contemplated
benefits of asphalt
flown to shrinking woodlands
they compose hymns
of loss and longing
to Gaia
Ravens are another matter
appreciating occasional
squirrel meets Goodrich
or hare outfoxed
by Volkswagen
Nevermore crows
scavenge amongst tall grasses
remove that which fouls
sweet country air
but congregate
along this highway
raspy caws announcing
smoggy dawn
they leisurely await
the next convenient kill
Nor can we blame these
bold opportunists
who make the best
of progress
our fast food delivery
of carrion
we too lazy to walk
whose faith lies
in the Mórrígan
sprawling cities
that feed her warlords
highways between
that carry us
swift-commuting
angels of death
delivering our message of
doom to chipmunk
hapless armadillo
and homeless lark
On weekends
making our escape
to the country
see them swagger
off the median
like they own the place
Hitchcock their heads
peer into windows
of cars stopped at redlights
take our measure
dream of bigger game.
Why I never visit
by Carla Martin-Wood
I don’t visit
that place where
pale fingers that glided
over piano keys
imparting Mozart
to the unattuned
go down to nothingness
where flaming hair
is finally quenched
and porcelain skin
sinks to alabaster bone
where amber eyes
are perpetually closed
seeing everything
I don’t bring flowers
remembering your voice
when I was four
baby girl, don’t pick those
they’ll die.
so I don’t go there
you never stayed in one place
more than a few weeks anyway
I thought you visited me once
in a recovery room
where I almost didn’t
pieces of you
cool fingers on my brow
slim white ankles
as black stilettos
clicked you out of the room
when I was coming to
a dream they said
I don’t go there
I like to think
you got bored waiting
and found something better
to do
a place more interesting
to go.
Cherry-on-Top
by Carla Martin-Wood
Cherry-on-Top
drove a new ‘63 VW
Pepto Bismol pink
just like her
lipstick and leather miniskirt
Maybelline eyes
cantaloupe breasts
stood out
in our flat-chested reality
sunny-haired blue-eyed
running on empty
Cherry was the sure thing
cheerleading future wife of
a quarterback
envy of
underlings
acne’d adolescent
whispers of pot and blow
jobs at away-games
sneaking under bleachers
Spanish Fly
by night Boones Farm
sticky sweet cherry-
flavoured four-letter words
giggled secrets
lies and gossip
her nickname a joke
in every locker room
Cherry-on-Top
driving by in
perfect pink
oblivion
decades gone
Cherry-on-Top sells
patterns at Justine’s Fabrics
proud moms
of new cheerleaders
scoop them up
one breast and
crowning glory
gone to cancer
cherry scented lipstick
stains creep into lines
hard around Cherry lips
eyeliner dragged in
jagged marks across
wrinkled lids
Cherry says
how she remembers
when she was on top
complete with
rhinestone tiara
pink orchid
corsage so big
she couldn’t look down
to see us wave
when she was queen
and how
the gym decorated
in tissue paper
chicken wire and
christmas lights
looked just like
heaven must
Snow Day
by Carla Martin-Wood
for my girls
Everything doesn’t come out
in the wash
like the blue and pink flowers
I let you paint on me
face
arms
legs
laughingtill tears streaked the paint
when we were snowed in that day
You my sweet girls
ran out of paper
and I let you use me
design me for battle
a wild Celtic warrior princess
Lacking feathers
and beads to hang
about my neck
you took those
mysterious curiosities
from the bathroom shelf
as though you finally
understood their purpose
strung tampons
about my neck
looped them over
my ears
I looked fierce
held you both
so close
knew
what a memory
we’d just made
Now I’ve lost you
to what I’m never sure
only that I’m bereft
and you still living
but these stains
I still see
indelible
blue flowers
pink centers
laughter
a snow day
crazy tampon jewelry
and me
wild Celtic warrior princess
of the PTA holy of holies
who let her daughters
make of her this
socially unacceptable
objet d’art.
Divination
by Carla Martin-Wood
At first my fingers
sought your skull
and tenderly
feigning a massage
I read each bump
stole surreptitious glances
at your palms
cross candlelit tables
ciphered ridges found
in discarded
fingernail clippings
later came Tarot
oracle bones
salt cast into flames
runes
rings of oak
hackle feathers of crow
crystals for scrying
and I examined
leavings
in abandoned teacups
seeds
within the excrement
of birds
now I read
the entrails of this owl
and find there
shriveled
black and
blighted
this:
an undigested heart
ha!
at last
I know.
by Bill Roberts
A flowering jade plant
near my front door
is supposed to attract
abundance and prosperity.
My jade plant, really quite
attractive though non-
flowering, was expensive
because it doesn't require
watering—it's a fake
since I just don't have
time to water plants,
so real ones die on me.
Maybe there's something
to the flowering business -
so far I've only noticed
an abundance of dust
on the faux-succulent leaves,
leaving me, thereby, with
an artificial sense of prosperity
since I am saving on water.
Closer Examination
by Bill Roberts
Microscopic examination would reveal
that I'm actually larger than life,
full of daring, daunting ideas,
blood flowing madly with a desire
for expression, hammering heartbeats
pulsing pent-up theories on evolution,
counter-revolution and totally
unintelligent design—all very familiar
I suspect with what lies hidden
in practically all of us.
Prescription Renewal Time
by Bill Roberts
I'm down to my last pill
and should call to request
the prescription be refilled,
but do I dare?
The pharmacist will tell me
my doctor has to renew
all prescriptions.
The doctor will want me
to come in for an exam.
He'll write me a new
prescription, maybe several.
The pharmacist will fill them.
I'll submit the bills
to my HMO insurer.
The insurance company
will bill Medicare.
Medicare will pay a portion.
My insurer will pay a part,
if it's beyond my deductible.
I'll be billed by my insurer.
I'll pay whatever is asked
so I can call the pharmacist
again to refill these drugs
for my nervous disorder.
Spacespeaker
by Bill Roberts
We have this friend, a veritable rocket scientist,
No less, who studies black holes in space
And spacespeaks in black-hole cadences
That suggest black moods and deep depressions
Within the hidden recesses of his head—
A man who tries to be congenial though he
Struggles with us who do not understand his
Black recesses and why he's drawn into them,
Given the unnatural blackness of his disposition.
He ventures into space seeking answers to
Questions we can't formulate ourselves,
The answers riddles themselves as they unravel -
Black dots in indecipherable patterns
On a long paper printout that occasionally,
When we trouble to question him, issues forth
Unstoppably from our friend's dark mouth.
What I'd Give
by Bill Roberts
What would I give to once again
feel that growing summer heat
in Georgetown, walk its streets
in the morning, no one else out yet?
What would we give, Dickie Keyes
and I, to trudge again down Rocky Hill
toward the Francis Scott Key house
ruins to dig up sleepy fishing worms?
What would I give to have to untangle
that first eel from the line, fighting
for its life, unsure whether I'll throw
it back in the muddy C&O Canal?
What would we give to carry our string
of sun perch and fat carp back up
the hill to the House of David, sell
our catches to those thankful, bearded Jews?
What would I give to have Dickie back
in life again, just to talk about those
lazy, rich summer days in Georgetown?
I'll tell you true—I'd give a lot.
Beauty is Mysterious, Mystery is Beautiful
by Austin G. Wallace
In a blind man’s brain
neurons mind motets hummed
by home appliances
buzzing with brio,
as frenzied dendrites dream
prismatic membranes,
crustaceous creatures
unknown to braille-less businessmen,
sought-after socialites:
Some flowers open only at night.
Before their winged ascent
up to the erratic moon
moths cased in cocoons
linger on leaves immersed
in moonlight; sheathed
in brittle shells, pent
in private trauma, why
not transform themselves
by ease of brighter light?
Some flowers open only at night.

|
Duck
Sense Lisa Braxton |
The Ride Leigh Pierce |
by Lisa Braxton
he
phone rang just as Mr. McDuck and I were getting comfortable in the tub. Mr.
McDuck, my goggle-wearing, red plaid rubber duckie, was doing floating
pirouettes as I was sinking further and further into the tub, flutter kicking to
keep him moving. I didn’t have to bother looking at the caller I.D.
I knew it
was my boyfriend Dexter on the phone. He always called when Mr. McDuck and I
were taking our evening bath. It didn’t matter how many times I’d tell
Dexter not to disturb me between the hours of 8 and 9 p.m., he’d always call
anyway.
“Hey, watcha doing?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I responded.
“You’re in the tub again, aren’t you?”
Darn it! He must have heard me splash. I took bubble baths at least twice a day. They were my escape, my therapy. A good bath with creamy, triple-milled soap and scented bubbles was for me what a trip to the steam room was for an overworked executive. But Dexter didn’t seem to understand this.
“No, I’m not in the tub,” I responded.
“Jazzmin, I can hear you sloshing around. Don’t lie to me.”
“What difference does it make anyway?” I said.
He paused a beat.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right about that. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. I just hope you don’t shrivel up from all the baths you take.”
I sighed heavily.
“Is Mr. McDuck with you?” he continued.
“What do you think?”
“Oh, he’s becoming your favorite, isn’t he?” I sensed sarcasm in his voice.
Dexter took every opportunity to razz me about my rubber duckies. I had a collection of them: a firefighter duckie, a nurse duckie, a doctor duckie, even an astronaut duckie dressed in full spacesuit and helmet. Dexter discovered my collection by accident one day when he went into my linen closet thinking it was my kitchen cupboard and all the ducks tumbled on his head.
It didn’t seem fair that he made my duckies the subject of his ongoing joke, especially since he had a pretty extensive collection of saws. Dexter is a trustafarian, living off of a trust fund left to him by an uncle—a mechanical engineer—who worked on the design of one of the early plasma television sets. Dexter had the luxury of spending his days in his loft designing and building handmade furniture that he would later sell to custom furniture stores. Dexter typically used one particular saw to cut large slabs of wood for the furniture, yet, he had a collection of more than 30 saws. But I was nice enough not to razz him about that.
“The reason I’m calling is because there’s a meteor shower tonight about 11,” he said. “The science museum is opening up the observatory to the public. You want to go?”
I thought about it for a moment. If I got out of the tub by 9, that would give me plenty of time to dry off, get dressed, and meet Dexter at the museum.
“Sure, I’ll go!” I responded.
“Great!” Dexter said. “And can you do me a favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Leave Mr. McDuck home, will you? We wouldn’t want him exposed to the night air after his bath.”
I thought of a clever response, but then decided to keep it to myself.
“Sure thing, sweetie,” I responded. “Sure thing.”
by Kane X. Faucher
have seen this same daub of hastily applied paint on this exact wall three years
ago and exactly 234.3 miles away. It has been painted over several times
beside a poor patch and priming attempt 8.3 inches to its left. The same
rust-tinged license plate from 1942, added there as an afterthought décor item,
hangs to its right. In fact, this place is not just similar, but I have
become increasingly convinced that it is indeed the exact same place. “Identical”
implies that it is a faithful reproduction, but this is the authentic original,
displaced 234.3 miles from its last standing location where I came to know it
three years ago.
It is not the only original that has appeared in this city in the last year. I have counted 103 such buildings that mysteriously have insinuated themselves in the spaces between other buildings as if they had always been there. It is the people that are more disconcerting, but I am still somewhat spooked by this gradual shift in displaced architecture.
I moved here because of a better job. It was a mixture of reluctance and eagerness. I was leaving the place of my nativity, and it is the complacencies and comforts of a hometown that both make it unbearable and habitually close to the heart. I had been so enthusiastic, finally putting into motion all those checked desires to leave the close confines of my drab hometown, but I was suddenly faced with the stark reality of finally departing this place I had so intimately known.
For some people, landing in a place so strange and new is not so strange and new, especially if their relationship to their surroundings is appreciated only peripherally. I am not so well-traveled, and so I was anxious and a touch afraid, but this was mediated by the firm realization that I would gain my bearings here and eventually come to call it something approximating home. Brave-facedly, I explored, rewriting the internal map of my daily routine in accordance to this shuffled urban geography.
Comfort takes time and it was slowly creeping up on me like resignation, blotting our or fading the memories of my hometown…or at least making them as untouchable as the subject of a photograph.
A year ago, my newfound level of comfort had started to diminish due to some curious incongruencies. While waiting for the bus to whisk me off habitually to work, I caught sight of something both old and new. It was new in its context, but indexed on a familiar reminiscence. Where the discount store with the empty units above it rose three floors from the street level stood a nameless corporate edifice of roughly the same size. It had not been there the morning before, and there were none of the usual traces and debris of demolition or construction. It was a thirty-year-old building transplanted there, I supposed. It looked exactly like the one I would see every day in my hometown. It was indeed the exact same building, in sight plainer than memory could record, with the same derivative iron art deco lining the portal. My reason chalked it up to coincidence or poor perception, failed memory. I told myself that I was adjusting here so well that I was confusing my memories of the two buildings. Or, perhaps I was homesick and projecting fiction upon space.
Two days later, I saw a convenience store run by someone of Arabic extraction. The sign in English was done up in a font with excessive curlicue as if it were trying to transition into arabesque script. Again, I recalled this exact store 234.3 miles out east. As weeks progressed, more buildings from my memory either replaced or populated between the buildings of this city.
Perhaps more unnerving was the slow injection of people. None of them were even vague acquaintances, but people whose faces you register in your memory because of unique characteristics or by the common ubiquity of seeing them as they crossed your path with the same quotidian regularity. Eventually, dozens of them were appearing—on the bus, street, in stories, in any place of pedestrian transit. Since I never introduced myself to these people when I lived back there, I found no justification for doing so here, despite my aching curiosity and confusion. What my perception and memory registers differs from others, and perhaps they would not recognize me anyhow.
Last month, the situation worsened. Or, let us say, increased in its arcane quality. Most of the buildings and recognizable strangers in my hometown were here, milling about as they once did back in my hometown. Street names changed to reflect those of my memory. No one I spoke to seemed to think anything was awry, claiming that building x had always been here or street name y always had that name. They regarded me curiously as if perhaps mad. I made a special trip after work to photocopy a map of the city from the library with its street names inscribed. But as the names changed day by day, so did my photocopy of the map reflect these changes.
I recorded on paper the names of businesses on any given street to find that, as they were mysteriously replaced, the phone book did not list the now-absent business that my memory identified, and my written list seemed to change alongside changes in space without any evidence of my correction.
I have come to resignedly accept the situation and no longer combat it with my reliance on reason. If I dragged these buildings and people in the existence of this place through enigmatic integration where I have unwittingly and without agency rewritten reality, or if I am simply a madman with a confabulating memory, I will not know. But when asked where I come from by the mildly interested who make small talk at bus stations or in lineups at the tobacconist’s, what else can I truthfully respond but here and there?
by William Gladys
y name
is Ruth Summery. I was barely fifteen when I was killed along with my younger
sister Rachel, and our mother Irene; such is the frown of misfortune in war.
My
parents were prosperous professional people working on ‘AR’, Aerial
Recognition for the Air Ministry as well as ‘message intercepts’ at that
time. They were privileged to be able to conduct their work at home.
Motorcycle
dispatch riders would call on a regular basis with triple locked brief cases
filled with what I later learned were photographs and messages that required
de-coding. It was in their oak panelled study on the ground floor that they
carried out their meticulous and ‘secret’ work. Our large detached house
was located in a pleasant tree lined avenue in Surrey, less than twenty five
miles from the docks in London, and considered a place of safety from German
aircraft on their bombing raids. Immediately behind the study, father had
erected a forty foot metal radio aerial/receiver. Curious neighbours were
informed that he was an enthusiastic radio ham, although in reality he was
monitoring ‘external’ communications for the Air Ministry and other
government departments. Like our neighbours, we had a large garden with ample
space to build an underground ‘bomb proof’ shelter if needed. We decided
however, that “it would be a pointless exercise, and a waste of resources to
build one as it was highly unlikely that the house would be subjected to
bombing, and anyway in the remote possibility that it was hit, there was
adequate protection under the stairs.” The descriptive word 'adequate' was
fitting. The property was sturdily built of solid, hand made bricks and an
abundance of seasoned oak. Oak windows, oak rafters, oak trusses, oak beams, an
oak staircase, oak floorboards and a herring bone pattern covering of oak on
the ground floor. Moreover, the womb like space under the stairs was fitted out
with a snug and comfortable mattress, and powerful battery operated lamps.
Whenever the air raid siren sounded, we three ‘girls’ would quietly settle
down with our novels for as long as was necessary, while father prowled around
the house and up and down the avenue like an over protective wolf on ‘incendiary
watch.’
A mile from our tree lined paradise was a large industrial estate that housed an enormous factory manufacturing aircraft engines, but in 1921 when my parents set up home at “Holly Oak”, an engineering complex located a mile away was of no consequence. However being at war with Germany in the early 1940’s had changed all that. For two consecutive moonlit evenings in late May, the German Luftwaffe were able to pinpoint their target with precision bombing, dropping thousands of pounds of high explosives on the factory, and killing a number of night workers, mostly girls, but astonishingly only a small area of the production line had been destroyed. I am sure that my parents German ‘AR’ counterparts would have studied the photographic results of the bombing, and notified their military masters that more sorties were needed to destroy the whole complex. And this was indeed the case five nights later, when we heard the terrifying drone of the lumbering heavily laden bombers approaching. Unfortunately or not, depending on where you were situated, the returning air crews had a brilliant moon to guide them to their target. It was a beautiful night, scudding clouds scattered the night sky, and the surrounding trees were distinct dark silhouettes lit by a moon which bizarrely, reminded me of Atkinson Grimshaw’s hauntingly mysterious night landscapes. Those of us in the avenue felt smugly secure nevertheless, selfishly convinced that a bright moon would enable the pilots to pinpoint their chosen targets exactly, leaving houses on the outskirts of the industrial complex unscathed. It was at moments like this that I suffered appalling pangs of guilt, knowing that many of the workers in the factory would be dead or injured before the following morning was over, while we were cocooned in our safe haven at home.
On a shelf under the stairs, mother had placed a key wound cream coloured alarum clock. The loud tick tock was reassuring, and reminded us of time passing and that the horrors of the night would soon be ended. For over an hour we listened to the stomach-churning shriek of falling bombs and explosions, and felt their shockwaves as the blast was funnelled down the avenue, rattling doors and windows, dislodging roof tiles and shaking chimney stacks to the point of destruction. Even the leaves on the beech trees seemed agitated by the tumult. And then abruptly it was all over, the drone of engines swiftly receding into the night.
But we were deceived; for just as rapidly, the throaty growl of a lone German bomber could be heard approaching, much closer this time. Transfixed, we heard the bombs shrieking fall and knew instinctively, that one or more of them was intended for “Holly Oak”, and trying to escape their wrath would be futile.
The first sound we heard was the breaking of roof tiles, then amazingly the splintering of ceiling lathes, followed by a sharp crack, as the projectile broke through the bedroom floorboards, to be followed ultimately by a deafening crack, as the front of the bomb burst through the stair treads immediately above our heads. The period between the breaking of the roof tiles and the bomb's emergence was a few seconds, yet in that brief ‘suspension’ of time, my intellect, freed by the knowledge of our imminent deaths excelled itself in its memory. I calculated the angle and speed of its descent, how much it weighed, who had betrayed us, how the sound of it falling was very much like the unearthly calling of two love sick foxes yet magnified much, much more? As it burst into our cocooned little world, I was comforted by the warmth in my mother’s smile, and the touch of my sister’s hand on my face. I noted bizarrely, how ‘beautiful’ the steel tipped front of the bomb looked; highly polished, and which at that instant looked perversely like a woman’s breast, not exuding milk giving life, but distributing a malignancy that would annihilate all of us, receivers as well as senders! I noted the etched number on its side 241, and felt relieved that the girls in the armaments factory would blessedly; never know who this particular bomb was destined to destroy. I thought about the grisly havoc an explosion in a confined space would yield and shuddered, as we disintegrated into a million pieces. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, how trite but true! And just before I died, my thoughts turned to father, poor father, who depended on us so much, and I wondered; how would he cope with the gruesome aftermath?
by Eric D. Lehman
t
is midsummer, and algae blooms swamp the mill pond. Lily pads hug the shores,
and long waving plants reach for the surface. A tall man scouts the edges,
finding only thick brushy green in the water. Swallows and catbirds snatch
mosquitoes from the air and a lost cormorant dives for snacks.
Two proud swans marshal their fleet of cygnets along the far shore, teaching them to fish. The man himself fishes with a nine-foot surf rod, too large for the tiny perch, and he hopes for gar or striped bass. Instead, sunfish nibble disinterestedly at the lure. He thinks about how easy it would be to turn to drink, about how easily the gin and tonics had gone down last night. The fishing is better, of course. Or is it? His skin burns in the heat, and flies swarm his ankles.
He sits on the graveled shore and watches the shallows, focusing on the tiny minnows which zoom in their thousands, their stripes glittering in the afternoon breeze. A mating pair of mallards paddles by and eats them, gulping hundreds with ease and aplomb. What if she never came back? That was unthinkable. But he does think it, and as he casts out into the muddy swamp, his heart trembles.
Dragonflies buzz the lily pads. The cygnets are more successful, dipping their brown heads for minnows. He reels the line in, and the worm still wriggles and struggles after an hour drowning in the brownish sludge. The man realizes that the worm is stronger than he, and pulls it carefully off the hook and sets it in the dirt under a bush. Better check if she has called.
by Leigh Pierce
he
shadow cast down the hill looks as if a giant is standing there, waiting to
pounce on his prey. But this isn't a giant, unless you count the size of his
heart.
His eyes are shut slightly by the bright sunlight, as he makes a visor out of his hand. He stands with his chest puffed out like a gorilla showing his dominance. He pulls his hand away from his forehead and wipes the sweat from his brow.
Chris pulls on his Sesame Street gloves that he got this morning for his second birthday and wiggles his fingers making sure they are on right. He cocks his head to one side like a dog when it hears a can of food being opened. He rolls his head around on his shoulders the way he sees the big guys on TV do it. He squints his eyes again and peers down the long grass hill he is standing at the top of.
He thinks out loud as he begins to tremble a little from the dangers of his upcoming mission.
"This is nothing. I can do this. That guy who wears the American flag pajamas does this on his motorcycle on TV all the time. I still can't figure out why they say he's evil. He seems nice to me."
Chris leans down and picks up his cooking pot helmet, stolen out of Grandma's kitchen cabinet, with the duct tape on it for a chin strap. He takes a deep breath as he puts it on his head and pulls the tape around his chin. He pounds the top of it with his balled up little fist to test its durability.
He begins pacing across the top of the hill, staring down to the bottom like a man staring down the barrel of his gun at a deer. He smiles at the possibilities.
"I can do this. It's just a little ant hill. Covered by grass. It's not as steep as it looks. This is nothing. I could do this in my sleep."
He keeps checking over his shoulder to make sure that his parents are still inside his grandma's house. There they are. Busy cleaning up the mess from his cake. His plan is working out perfectly. Eat like a pig. Get cake everywhere. Make a huge mess. Get sent outside so he doesn't make more of a mess.
"Good. They're still busy. No interruptions."
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of scratched up safety glasses that he found in his dad's junk tool box. He wipes them on his shirt, leaving a dust streak across Grover's face. He puts them on. He still wonders why his dad would just toss a perfectly good pair of glasses in his junk tool box. He just couldn't see why, of course that could be because he lost half his vision from the scratches on the lenses he was now looking through.
"All right. Almost ready."
He looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is on their way out to stop him. Hoping that someone will come out, rather than worrying that someone will come out.
As he peers down the hill he can't help but think about the disaster that was the umbrella parachute event that got him grounded from using ladders and ten stitches. But they always say lightning doesn't strike twice, so this should go off without a hitch. This was his time to shine. His time to show them he was a big guy now.
He paces the top of the hill again looking for the smoothest path to the bottom where the dirt jump is. He finally finds it and pulls the big yellow metal dump truck to the starting gate.
He looks over his shoulder one last time hoping that Mommy is going to see him and come running out of the house to stop him, making that horrible screeching yell that only a Mommy can make, but no such luck.
He takes a deep breath as he sits on top of the yellow behemoth. He rocks it back and forth, feeling the paint chips scratching his legs. He grabs a hold of the rusty front lip of the truck and pushes with his feet. The two front wheels creep off the edge of the flat top of the hill as he begins his descent.
"Here we go!"
The truck starts rolling at a pace that was not expected by the two year old. Flying faster and faster, almost bouncing down the hill.
"VROOM VROOM SCREACH VROOM! He's in the lead people. He's coming to the bottom of the hill!"
Chris narrates as he rolls wildly out of control down the steep hill. Clumps of dirt him in the face and stick in his teeth that are exposed by his enormous smile. His chubby cheeks jiggle with every bump of the wheels. His head bouncing on his shoulders as the cooking pot helmet slides down over his eyes.
"He's getting to the final jump and..."
The big yellow metal dump truck hits the dirt pile and flips end over end over Chris over end. Slamming his doughy two year old stuntman body into the ground and landing on top of him. He spits out some dirt, tries to push the heavy yellow death machine off him, and tries to muster up some tears to make this mistake seem a lot less naughty.
The sound of his cries make his parents jump up and run out of the house, or so he thought. It was actually his dad noticing the truck go out of control, seeing as he was watching the whole production from the bathroom window, again.
Chris lays there with his metal helmet and broken safety glasses ten feet away from him and the dump truck on top of him. When his dad arrives he sees that the bruise already forming below his son's left eye isn't nearly as dark and prominent as the one forming on his indestructible two year old ego.
"Are you okay tough guy?"
Chris fights back the tears and sucks a snot bubble back into his nose.
"Yeah. I think so." He stands up on wobbly legs and hugs his dad. "I really thought I could make it this time."
"I know, I know tough guy. I was watching from the bathroom window like usual."
"Daddy, I think I pooped a little."
His dad smiles as the thought, brushes some dirt off his teeth, and does the only thing a dad can do at this time. Encourage him.
"You got really close this time. Good job. Maybe next time you'll nail the landing."
As Chris wipes the blood from his elbow he is startled by a tapping on his forehead.
He awakes from his dream, looks over to see his wife asleep next to him, and his two year old son, Matt, standing next to the bed and tapping him with his stuffed dog.
"Daddy, can we go over to grandma's house today? She said she had a birthday present for me."
"Sure thing tough guy. But don't forget to bring your dump truck again."
Matt smiles at his dad.
"Do you think I can make it this time?"
Chris looks at the picture of him and his father on the night stand. The one of him wearing a Grover shirt with a bandage on his arm. The one that was taken on his second birthday right after the dump truck incident. He looks down at the pale scar on his left elbow and can't help but smile.
"Yeah, I bet you can."
Matt smiles excitedly, but a worried look quickly overtakes his face.
"But what if Mommy or Grandma try to stop me?"
Chris smiles like a naughty little kid and remembers how he got away with it.
"I'm pretty sure me and Grandpa can keep them busy. They'll be cleaning everything up after we're through having cake."
Matt smiles again and looks at his dad's elbow.
"When are you going to tell me how you got that old booboo Daddy?"
Chris stops to touch the cheese grater texture that the dirt jump created on his elbow.
"Maybe tomorrow tough guy. Maybe tomorrow."
by Quentin Poulsen
rkun
came to the shores of the river and laid his hand cart down. All the long day he had hauled his
produce over the difficult terrain. Pale green melons, yellow and striped, dark green and white.
Now he squatted above the muddy banks, gazing at the broken bridge, contemplating his fate.
"I am an unlucky man. The footbridge has collapsed. And not a boat to be seen."
Among the trees on the hilltop behind him a movement caught his eye. It was a goatherd and his flock,
silhouetted by the glow of the setting sun. Those dark shapes wriggled and melted into the land.
Orkun discerned the lean figure of the goatherd, with white beard and long staff, like Musa, leading his flock
down the slopes to the water.
He rose to his feet and greeted the elder with a reverential bow. "Good evening, Uncle."
"Good evening, Young Pup," returned the other. "Why the long face?
Has your boat sunk in the sea?"
Orkun dipped his head again. "I have neither boat nor any means of crossing the river.
These melons are ripe and ready for market."
The old man perused the cargo, then raised his eyes to the sad features of the youth before him.
"These are fine melons. You are a young man. Your problem is easily surmounted."
"There is no way, Uncle." Orkun shook his head.
"Such despondency from one so young!" The goatherd stroked his beard and studied him more closely.
Orkun slumped onto his haunches again. "With the proceeds from this crop, I hoped to buy a horse.
Now I cannot reach the market to sell it. This path has become as all others.
Last summer I sought a bride. But the harvest was poor and my family could not raise
the dowry. Now she is betrothed to another. Everything conspires against me."
The elder stood beside him and stared at the fertile lands beyond the muddy river.
"Courage, Young Kite. Suleyman Pasha traversed the Dardanelles; Fatih Mehmet
the Golden Horn. But not without overcoming the greatest of difficulties.''
"I am neither a builder of boats nor a mender of bridges. How am I to cross this river with my cart
full of melons?"
''By believing that you can. First you must want to get there. You must want this enough to take the
necessary steps to prevail over the obstacles. One cannot simply say 'I want this' and it shall be so.
The mind is a limb. It needs to be trained and exercised. If you truly wanted to build a boat, you
would. If you truly wanted to mend that bridge, you would. If you truly wanted to swim the river with the
melons tied to your sides, you would.''
"Belief does not make one a magician, Uncle. Some things are possible and others are not.
Or life would be without meaning."
"There is no magic and no great surprise or disappointment that does not come within the realms of
your expectations. Bad things happen to you because you believe that they will.
Your expectations have determined this. The life you speak of is no more than
the reality you perceive. But it is not the same as mine. And it is only a very small part of you, who are
infinite. We may never grasp the infinite, but we can enlarge the boundaries of our conscious world by
learning to expand our minds."
''And if I believed this cart could fly, with I and the melons upon it...?''
"If you truly believed it, it would come to pass, one way or another.
However, your mind has been conditioned far beyond the point where you would be prepared to believe in such a thing with conviction.
Given time, this too could change. But for now your mind must focus on a simpler task.''
Orkun thought deeply. The river at this point was some hundred and fifty metres wide.
He could barely swim that distance, let alone go back and forth with sacks full of melons.
Besides which, how could he transport his cart across? He turned his gaze toward the bridge.
The near side was submerged about thirty metres from the shore, and the far side a little further.
The distance between was perhaps no more than half the river's span. If he slept the night he could, during
the course of the following morning, transfer the melons from this side of the broken bridge to the
other. There remained the question of the cart. Nonetheless, his spirits were invigorated.
Detecting a change in his expression, the old man enquired as to its cause.
His lips formed a smile of approval as the youth explained.
Then Orkun came suddenly to his feet. ''As for the cart, I will turn it over and float it across.
The whole thing is solved! By this time tomorrow I will be in the market place.''
''So let us make camp together,'' said the goatherd. "I have some meat and cheese, and with one of your
fine melons we can prepare a feast that will give you strength for the morrow's labour.''
While they ate, the darkness descended. The two men sat talking in the warmth of the fire, their faces
cast in a flickering hue. The elder produced half a bottle of grayish-white raki, already mixed with
water, and this they shared. They heard the song of the river and the occasional be-e-e-eh of a goat.
They smelt the earth and the roasting ashes. The stars were out, the new moon had begun to shine.
"Tomorrow is going to be a clear day," observed the goatherd. "With Allah's will and The Prophet's
blessing, you shall cross this river."
"You invoke the will of Allah, Uncle. Do you not believe that it is He who controls our destiny?"
"Allah is within us. He is our collective spirit. Allah, the universe, our collective subconsciousness;
this is one and the same, and we have the power to control it. We have always had some inkling of this
but cannot comprehend it. We attribute the mysterious workings of the subconscious mind to a greater power."
Orkun stopped chewing. "Are you denying the omnipotence of The Creator?"
"My conception of The All-Merciful merely differs from yours. What one man believes is as real for him as
what another believes is for him. Our thoughts, dreams and emotions are all part of an ever-changing
universe. Only our conscious world is confined by the limits of reason."
The elder imparted one last piece of advice before they lay down to sleep.
"Before you close your eyes repeat to yourself nine times: 'I will cross the
river.' This thought will accompany you into the land of dreams and strengthen your resolve."
The youth did as he was told, and indeed he dreamed a vivid dream of reaching the far banks of the river.
All trace of doubt was removed from his mind when he arose with the dawn's first light.
He reenacted the steps he had taken in his dream, tying the sack about his waist, filling it with
melons, and swimming the distance between the collapsed ends of the bridge.
It sapped his strength and he was required to rest longer after each crossing.
But the task was completed before the sun had reached its zenith.
By dusk the young man had reached his destination and was hawking his wares in the market place.
His prophesy of the evening before had been fulfilled.
Back in his village some days later Orkun added these proceeds to his savings and bought the bay mare he had
long coveted. Upon her he strutted about the village, testing out his new-found sense of power.
"Together we can clear that fence!" he would say, and repeat it to himself nine times.
"Together we can catch a brown fox! Together we can outpace Strong Ali
on his red Circassian."
All these things came to pass, and others less probable, so that Orkun began to wonder at the extent
of his power. What were its limits? He grew in stature
day by day, and the villagers marvelled at the change in his bearing.
"How Young Orkun has come of age!" they would say. "Such an unassuming lad before.
Now he goes with the swagger of a sultan!"
Indeed, he began to conceive of a higher station; muhtar, aga, maybe some day even the pasha.
Inshallah!
More than once he dreamed a hazy dream of himself as master in the sovereign's harem.
But the old man's words served to sober him. These things would not simply become so.
He needed to train his mind and take the necessary steps to attain his goals.
In these days of exultant self-discovery there remained one matter which gnawed away at Orkun's
spirit: his love was betrothed to another. Each time he saw her seared his heart like fire.
"Elif, who is it you love?" he asked when they met at the well one morning.
She mocked him with her large brown eyes. "Orkun, you know it is not my decision.
Mother has accepted the offer of Birgul Hanim, mother of Murat. Now don't be
foolish."
He began to brood deeply, venturing into the village less and less, devoting his attention instead to the
tending of his family's fields. It had been a fair crop that summer, but too late for him.
When the robin disturbed his sleep one night he was seized by a fit of rage and slew it with his sling.
"I am an unlucky man," he told himself. "What do I profit by this recent good fortune when my heart stays
broken? The goatherd's words are of no use to me now. Elif is betrothed to Murat.
The nine repetitions cannot reverse a vow. It is a predicament alterable only by some chance misfortune, and these matters lie
in the hands of Allah."
But had not the old man said Allah lay within us; that The Creator, the universe and our collective
subconsciousness were one and the same? Thus, if Orkun willed it, a part of Allah willed it also, while only
He, The Magnificent, The Giver of All, could bring it to pass. And had not the old man spoken of strata of
existence? If some misfortune were to overcome Murat and his marriage to Elif unable to go ahead, would
this only be so in the stratum of Orkun?
He asked himself how much he wanted this. His soul yearned for nothing more.
Then he must train his mind to accept this possibility. He must be prepared to
take the necessary steps to make it a reality. Nine times each night he pledged to attain that which his
heart craved most, and indeed he dreamed most vivid dreams of its eventuality.
It was news of the aga's imminent arrival that provided his opportunity. He and some other men of the
village were wetting their mouths in Hasan's cafe one
evening, Murat among them.
"The aga's share is too great," Dark Kemal was saying. "We must stand up to him, sooner or later."
"We can barely feed our families," said another, "while he basks in the luxury of Selim!"
Orkun knew these words to be hollow; men made lions by the spell of the raki.
The same fine speeches were spoken before the aga's every visit. But when he came
they would all turn over their share, as always, without question.
As the night progressed the talk grew bolder, and it was Murat himself who cried, "Curse the aga!
He will take nothing this time!"
Orkun swallowed his raki and smiled back at him, a serpentine flicker in his eyes that was not lost on
his prey.
Next morning he visited the bath house and conveyed this news to the washer-man.
It was enough. What the washer-man knew the village knew, and the villagers
were most apt to believe what they wanted to believe. Before long the news was on everyone's lips.
Murat was going to deny the aga.
"What have you done to me?" Murat confronted Orkun. "Many words are spoken in Hasan's cafe which are not
meant to be taken seriously. How would it be if you reported them all throughout the village?"
The latter stepped back, intimidated by the fury in the other's eye. But Murat was not a man of violence,
and this perhaps was worse. Orkun would never forget the look he gave him before he turned away.
Some days later Murat was gone. To stay would have been to lose face in front of the entire village, for
no man could afford to incur the aga's wrath. The path was thus made clear for Orkun's family to approach the
family of Elif. It had been a fair crop that summer. The dowry was no longer a problem.
The offer was accepted. The young man had what he wanted. Elif was his betrothed and all was well.
But now he found himself unable to hold her gaze. It seemed to him that she was different, and that perhaps
she no longer wanted to marry him. His mind reeled like a drunkard's.
In his dreams he saw the robin, become giant, refusing to die. The stones struck it, disappearing into its
plume, yet it merely continued to sing. Cik cik. T-r-r-r-r. Cik cik.
T-r-r-r-r. No matter how he tried, Orkun could not kill it.
Then one night he dreamed a gruesome dream of Murat lying dead in the field.
He, Orkun, stood above him with his sling, for it was he who had slain him.
He awoke in a sweat, as one gripped by fever. What was it the old man had said?
Our dreams too were part of an ever-changing universe. Was not Murat's death real,
therefore, in another stratum? But in Murat's own stratum of existence he could not be dead.
So why this sense of anguish?
Unable to sleep, he wandered outside into the frosty dawn. Was the sun beginning to rise only because he
expected it? What did it all mean when everything and nothing was real?
But Orkun knew it was wrong. This was a feeling that came from his bones.
It was not Elif who was different, but him. It was not she who no longer wanted to marry, but him.
It was not Murat he had slain in his dream, but a vital part of himself. He must now consign himself to the same fate as his
rival.
The
Entrepreneur

by Marcus Rose
he entrepreneur had opened
a tiny, narrow liquor store—just a ten-foot by five-foot hallway lined with
floor-to-ceiling shelves of bottles—in a warm little town, and, the corporate
world indelible in his mind, set the store’s schedule at twelve to twelve.
The
store was dingy, made of plywood walls supported by two-by-four beams, all
painted green. The door, also of this thin green wood, the entrepreneur deemed
“primitive and uninviting,” and employees were to prop it open whenever the
store was open. And presently, three years after the store’s opening, the
night-shift cashier often found herself alone, staring from her perch behind the
counter through the dim green hallway at the rectangle of night framed by the
open doorway. This rectangle was pure black; the cashier loved it. It provided
thoughtful conversation about philosophy and love and other sensitive topics,
which it delivered in a strong stentorian diction that always pleased her; its
burly masculinity always intimidated her community college textbook, most times
closing it.
The conversation between the cashier and the rectangle was only broken by the customers, who were scarce and never numbered more than two at a time. When a customer entered, the conversations sheared suddenly and lingered with nervous complicity. As the customer browsed the selection, the cashier stared blankly past him at what she was able to see of the rectangle, which returned her stare desperately, fearing the customer might disrupt the train of thought as he had done the conversation. The train of thought faced the most danger when the customer approached the counter. At first this inevitably spelled doom for it, but as the cashier pressed into habit asking for I.D., scanning the bar code of the liquor, announcing the price, bagging the bottle, taking the money, securing it inside the register, and wishing “Good night,” less and less conversations between the two had to start anew. The conversations deepened in emotional complexity. Customers already candid with tipsiness—or even drunkenness sometimes—asked, “Are you drunk? You look flushed.”
“No,” answered the cashier as she handed the customer his liquor. “Good night.”
Midnight—the end of her shift—brought the entrepreneur, his terse smile brazen in his face as it disrupted the rectangle inspecting the store. He began to straighten the bottles nearest to the rectangle and, as if a rollicking party had scattered debris there, solemnly announced, “Time to clean up.”
“Just let me lock the register.” She did.
Then both the entrepreneur and the cashier straightened the bottles, each on either side, no conversation.
“Sweep so we can go,” said the entrepreneur. The cashier grabbed the broom from behind the register counter. She swept with her back to the rectangle, which stood beside the entrepreneur, its solemn burliness intact in the abject wordlessness. In direct proportion to her progress, the entrepreneur slowly receded into the rectangle; soon he was waiting invisibly on the pavement outside. Her dust pile grew and she soon found herself breathing the darkness of the rectangle; and she turned to face it. Her pulse quickened at the intimacy and with a breathlessly rapid flourish she swept the dust into the rectangle. She stepped limply to the pavement and then had to close the door, which the entrepreneur locked with jingling finality.
“Do you want a ride home?” he asked. “It’s dark.”
“No”—she wheeled her bicycle to the road and mounted it awkwardly, textbooks being in hand—“Good night.”
The community college subjected her to the delicate male voice of the textbook, which spoke in abstractions and euphemisms; the blackboard might have charmed her were it not the transcriber of the textbook’s babble. With chin in hand she cast her bored eyes to the classroom’s doorway, which, despite that it supported the great blank white walls and was not pompous as the textbook, contained only florescent light.
This routine repeated itself for weeks, months. The rectangle and she abandoned any of their differences and settled into one long lovely stare that was able to remain intact in her memory long after the dust was swept; she could now fully conjure its image against the painful euphemism of community college. Classes quickened and she changed no part of her routine until she graduated. After this the entrepreneur offered her more hours in the store but she decided to only work her night-shift, spending the daytime gathering her thoughts and composure for the rectangle. She observed one day that the entrepreneur’s huge, tinted-window truck, which had been perpetually shiny when she first met it, had begun to carry grime immune to water, soap, and scrubbers; time had passed, she realized. Two years.
The day after her realizing this:
As per custom, the cashier rode her bike through the darkening evening, which would relinquish itself to blackness when she arrived at the store; she timed it this way to let her darling prepare himself, to let him wash from his body the lingering traces of his daytime sleeping. However: When the cashier arrived, the green flimsy plywood door was shut. The entrepreneur’s truck stood sadly on the pavement in the dark, and the cashier, stunned by the breach of routine, stopped her bike beside the passenger door. The entrepreneur in the driver’s seat—adjusting his position before she could consciously register the head-hung slouch—saw her and rolled his lips into a smile of consternation. He held the look for a few seconds. Then he exited and invisibly on the other side of the monstrous truck she heard him mutter, “Agh damnit.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked—her question went unanswered as the entrepreneur walked to her side of the truck. He paused.
“The goddamn store got robbed,” he said—the hours since had taught him to restrain his anger.
She sat on her bike wordlessly shocked.
“Right at goddamn noon! At opening time! Carla”—the day-shift cashier—“said it was two Richard Nixons, guys with Richard Nixon masks. The cops came and I had to close the store. So take the goddamn next couple nights off. Do you need a ride? It’s dark.”
“No I’m all right with my bike.” She rode off without another word; and silently she would spend the days until the phone buzzed and informed her to return to work.
After receiving the news, the cashier excitedly prepared herself for the rectangle. She pedaled her bike faster than usual; and from twenty yards through the dark she spied a cancer on the liquor store. A silver glass door had replaced the flimsy plywood one, and it was closed; her gut swelled. As she entered the store the other cashier—not Carla—flung her purse around her shoulder and briskly exited. For one minute the night-shift cashier stood silently, not facing the door, and then walked to her counter and grabbed the broom. She returned to the door, looking at the floor to avoid the glass’s rendering of the rectangle. She violently pushed open the door as far as its hinges allowed, and propped it open with the broom. The broom fell immediately; the door shut; it was too heavy to be restrained.
by
Janet Yung
ext,”
the clerk behind the deli called.
Mildred inched towards the case, her hand extended, clutching the small yellow
tag indicating she was number nineteen, the next number in the queue.
“Excuse me,” Mildred tried to elbow past the young man who’d wedged
himself between her and the counter. He didn’t have a number. “I believe I’m
next.”
“Uh?” he stared at her, his mouth slightly open, as if he were seeing her
for the first time.
“I was next.” She looked up at him while the clerk waited for someone to
order.
“Okay, but I’m in a hurry.” His expression indicating she couldn’t
possibly have any place else to be while he had an important engagement. Everything was important when you were that age, Mildred remembered.
She held her ground, cleared her throat and ordered a half pound of potato
salad. “That’s all,” she smiled when the clerk handed her the package.
Edging away from the lunch crowd she heard, “old bag” and felt eyes on her
back. She straightened up. Maybe she should’ve waited till after the noon rush
or gone to the market before, but she’d been busy. And, it wasn’t as though
she’d ordered a half dozen items, hemming and hawing about each selection
while the mob grew anxious and angry, the clock ticking away on their lunch
hour.
She smiled at the check out line. She was finished with lunch hours.
Except the
ones she kept without set limits.
Outside, it was beginning to drizzle and she stopped in the middle of the
sidewalk to button up her jacket, the bag with potato salad and bread dangling
from her arm. She felt someone came up from behind, nearly forcing her to the
ground, as he brushed past her.
She looked up—it was the young man who’d tried to push ahead of her in
line. “Bitch.” There was no doubt that’s what he said, thudding to the
parking lot and into a massive truck Mildred didn’t think anyone needed.
“It’s a pity no one ever taught you some manners,” was the comment she
aimed in his direction.
The topics of bad manners and massive vehicles had been fodder for discussion on
more than one occasion when the girls got together.
“What’s the world coming to?” was the way the ill manners conversation
usually ended.
Mildred stood at the edge of the driveway as the big truck peeled onto the
street, heading east. If she had a can in her bag, she might be tempted to hurl
it at him. She’d never had a very good throwing arm, but supposed if she were
motivated, might actually hit her target.
“That wouldn’t be very productive,” she said under her breath. Gratifying,
but not very productive.
“I bet he’d be seeing stars when the can hit the metal.” Metal was so thin
on cars nowadays, all you had to do was look at it funny and it caved in.
“What do people need those big trucks for?” Mildred asked her card playing
ladies at their last game. She’d been nearly run off the road, exiting the
highway on her way to Agnes’.
“To haul things,” Catherine said while she shuffled the cards.
“I don’t think they really haul things in them,” Agnes added, her glasses
poised on the end of her nose, studying her hand.
“My nephew has one,” Margie picked up the cards deftly pitched in her
direction. “He wouldn’t dream of putting anything dirty in it.”
She was
organizing what she’d been dealt. “I asked him to haul some manure for me
one day and you should’ve seen the expression on his face. ‘Aunt Margie, I
don’t haul manure.’”
The ladies laughed and Mildred smiled as she remembered the way Margie dropped
her voice, imitating her nephew, and wrinkling her nose.
Walking the two blocks home, Mildred replayed the scene at the market and what
she should’ve said. “At least, I didn’t back down.” She turned the key
in the lock and stepped inside.
The house had a tired, worn look, but it was comfortable. Rooms filled with a
lifetime of living and not just hers, but the families that had come before.
“You have a funny way of looking at things.” Ed used to say when she’d
remark about something that had happened during the day as they sat on the
patio, waiting for the stars to pop up in the sky.
Winter was best for stargazing. Ed watched the paper for exceptional happenings
in the sky. Usually, those things occurred on the most bitter nights.
He’d
wait outside while she bundled up. Once she’d join him, he’d say, “Maybe
we should go over to the park. The visibility is better.”
“This is fine,” she’d chattered. Sometimes, though, she’d cave in when
roofs blocked a clear view of the sky and trudge behind him to stand in the
middle of the park, biting wind sweeping through the depressed center, making it
colder than their patio.
“There, there it is.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders while she
shivered and point upward. Heavenward, he’d say even though she wasn’t
certain he believed there was one.
She hung her coat in the front hall closet, brushing off the few raindrops.
She
supposed the house needed a little sprucing up. The girls offered suggestions
the last time they met here and she’d nodded in agreement as if she might
seriously consider them.
“You could paint,” Agnes suggested.
“It’s the cheapest change with the greatest impact,” Margie added.
She put the potato salad in the refrigerator, feeling suddenly worn out from her
experience. Not like when she was younger and the whole incident would’ve
charged her up. She’d been so pissed, she would’ve come home and painted the
whole first floor.
Ed would’ve laughed and told her to forget about. “Tonight we’ll do some
stargazing. That’ll take your mind off all your problems.”
In the kitchen, she opened the back door and looked out at the patio. The rain
was really coming down now, making the old brick appear shiny. Soon, there would
be weeds growing between the cracks. She should tear out the patio and have a
concrete slab poured. It would be safer when she entertained her friends.
“I wouldn’t need to worry about someone tripping.” She shivered.
It would
be a while till spring and she could make those decisions about the house then.
She locked the door, and in the living room, stretched out on the sofa for a
small nap before a late lunch. Her afternoon and evening were free today.
“I could move,” she said to the ceiling, “but what if the next place wasn’t
as good for star gazing?” She squinted her eyes, imagining stars stenciled on
the ceiling and smiled. What would the girls think about that? She closed her
eyes, “at least, I didn’t back down. Score one for old, invisible ladies
everywhere.” She’d have a funny story to tell the next card game.
![]()
Sun on House in Seattle
David Alexander
![]()
Bread and Cheese on Board
David Alexander

|
Bug on car window |
Eileen Green Alexander |

|
Walking in Wellfleet |
|
Eileen Green Alexander |

|
In the Hague |
Eileen Green Alexander |

|
Girls in Delfe |
|
Eileen Green Alexander |
Metaphorical Self-Protrait
Mikayla Rose Alexander
Mandala Roses
Mikayla Rose Alexander
Trees in our Courtyard
Mikayla Rose Alexander

|
Nevada |
|
Christine Bruness |

|
Water Fairy |
|
Christine Bruness |

|
In the Manic |
Christine Bruness |

|
Dancers |
Christine Bruness |
![]()
Maureen's Grammar School Graduation
Oscar Fairley
|
by
Wayne Scheer
She wore a loose-fitting flannel robe
and slippers, and sat across from him at their new Formica and chrome kitchen
table covered with a green and blue plastic tablecloth. Eddie smelled coffee
percolating on the stove in a little metal pot with a glass window on the top.
Most mornings, his father sat with them at the table and ate breakfast while
reading the newspaper. This morning, he had an appointment in Valley Stream on
Long Island. Eddie knew that meant his father would take the car instead of the
subway. He liked thinking of his dad driving to work in the yellow and black
1951 Buick Special they had recently bought. Less than four years old, it was
practically brand new. His father dressed in a suit that
morning, the dark one he wore to weddings and funerals. "You look sharp as
a tack," his mother said. They kissed, and Eddie turned his head. His father talked about a big account.
If he got it, they could afford to buy a house on Long Island, which they
referred to as "the island." Eddie had visited his Aunt Rose and Uncle
Lenny who lived in Levittown, and it didn't seem like an island to him. No one
even owned boats. It just seemed like a bunch of lots with little houses that
looked like the houses in a Monopoly game. He didn't want to leave his friends,
so he secretly hoped his father wouldn't get the account. "Wish your father luck," his
mother said. Eddie ignored her, taking a forkful of
egg into his mouth. "I don't need luck," said his
father. Eddie didn't look up from his egg, but
the tone in his father's voice was the same he used when he bragged about the
size of the fish he had caught off Montauk Point with his friend Mike. "I know just how to sell these
boys, believe you me. I'll have them eating out of the palm of my hand." When it was time to go to school, Eddie
imagined his father coming home all excited about the deal and them moving soon
after that. "That's crazy," Arnie Stein
told him. "But even if you move, you can still come back here and visit,
can't you?" "Sure, but it won't be the same.
You have to drive in a car to get back to Brooklyn from Long Island. It's a big
deal." Eddie considered what really bothered
him. "They probably don't play stickball out there. Or punchball.
They
don't even have stoops to play stoopball. When I visit my cousins, all we do is
climb trees and run after their stupid dog." Eddie spent the day moping and whining
about everything. He even got in trouble with Miss Howser for not paying
attention when she was talking about civil rights and Emmett Till being killed
in Mississippi. All Eddie knew was that Mississippi wasn't in New York, and they
probably didn't play stickball there, either. After school, his mother was waiting
for him with a bologna sandwich and potato chips. As a special treat, she let
him drink a Dr. Brown cream soda straight from the bottle. Instead of setting up
a TV tray and allowing him to watch Tic Tac Dough for half an hour before
starting his homework, she set his plate on the kitchen table and sat down next
to him. "Your father called while you were
in school. From Long Island. It was long distance, but he didn't care."
She
was so happy, Eddie almost felt happy himself. But he didn't let his mother see
it. "He got the account!" "Does this mean we're
moving?" "I hope so, don't you? We'll own
our own house with a backyard." "I don't want a backyard,"
Eddie said. "I like it here. This is where my friends are." "But you'll make new
friends." Her voice lowered and her eyes narrowed. Eddie was totally
unprepared for what would follow. "We have to move out of Brooklyn, Eddie.
The neighborhood is changing." Even at ten, Eddie knew what that
meant. He had heard the adults talking. It meant Negroes were moving in. "So?" he asked. "So? They're not like us.
They're
different. It'll be dangerous for you in school." She leaned in as if
sharing a secret. "White people are moving to Long Island. That's why we
have to move." He had never heard his mother refer to
herself as white before. They were Jewish, his parents' friends, Camille and
Anthony Marano, were Italian. White people had blond hair and blue eyes.
The
Germans he heard horrible stories about were white. It seemed wrong to think of
himself as white. Eddie had seen images on television of
whites beating Negroes, setting vicious dogs to attack "colored"
children. They talked about it in school, but that happened in far away places,
"down South." Now he saw his mother as a racist, a word Miss Howser
had taught them. He knew colored kids were in his
school, but he never thought much about them. Maybelle Johnson, who was in his
English class, won the school's spelling bee and Benny Washington could make
fart sounds with his underarms better than anybody. Sure, some Negro kids got in
trouble for fighting, but just the other day Andy Leary was suspended for
setting a fire in the boy's room. No one was calling the Irish kids dangerous. Eddie tried explaining this to his
mother, but his words got all twisted. She finally said, "You'll understand
when you're older." He knew what that meant: end of
conversation. He waited for his father to come home.
He'd tell him he was sorry he didn't wish him luck in the morning, but he was
happy he made the deal. He'd also tell him they didn't have to move to Long
Island. His father would understand. But his father didn't understand.
Worse, when Eddie tried explaining how the Negroes in his school weren't
dangerous, his father used the "n" word. He had never heard that word
in his house before. His mother and father never cursed in front of him, and he
knew that was a curse word. "You don't understand what it's
like out there." His father spoke quickly, as if to erase what he had said.
"They're all over now. I have to deal with them everyday on the trains and
in the street. Even at work. They hired a colored man to cover the East New York
territory. Soon they'll be after my job." "But you're the best salesmen
there is. Why are you worried?" His father stared at him. Eddie watched
his father push out his bottom lip with his tongue, a sign that he was thinking
about what to say. "It's not that, it's how they act. They're just not like
us, son. You'll understand someday." The next day at school Eddie tried to
understand. He watched Billy Williams, whose black
skin glistened in the florescent lights of the school. In fact, he watched him
so closely Miss Howser thought he was cheating during the spelling test. "Keep your eyes on your own work,
Eddie," she said aloud. "You don't know if Billy spells any better
than you do." The class laughed, including Billy. Still, he watched Billy all day. He saw
how he yawned just before lunch and how he walked like he was afraid when Miss
Howser called him up to the board to do a math problem. He held the chalk a
funny way, Eddie noticed, more in his fist than with his fingers, but he knew
that wasn't what his mother and father meant when they said Negroes were
different. In the playground, the Negro boys
laughed with each other in loud voices, often saying things Eddie didn't
understand. But the Italian kids did the same thing. The Irish kids sometimes made fun of
the Jewish kids, calling them names, and the Italians made fun of the Irish, but
Eddie knew that most of the time they were just joking. He and his friends
didn't really mean anything by the name-calling. But somehow it was different when
someone made fun of the Negro kids, Eddie thought. Considering what he saw on
television and heard in class, he didn't feel right calling them names. He
wasn't sure why, but it just seemed wrong. At home, his mother asked him questions
about how many "coloreds" were in his class and if they ever stole
anything from him or threatened him. "Stay away from them," she warned
him. Meanwhile, they spend most Saturdays on
Long Island riding around in a car driven by a lady who took them to different
houses. Eddie never knew ladies could drive. Neither his mother nor his mother's
friends drove. His father had only learned a few years earlier. They finally settled on a house in East
Meadow, near where Aunt Rose and Uncle Lenny lived. The house had three
bedrooms, one would be a guest room, his parents told him, so he could invite
his friends from Brooklyn to spend the night. There was even a basement covered
in what his father called knotty pine, where they would watch television and
listen to records. And there was a backyard with a big
tree that Eddie climbed. They even bought a dog. It was his job to take it for a
walk every morning before school and every afternoon when he came home. "Colored people aren't allowed to
live here," his new best friend and next-door neighbor, Barry Goldman, told
him one day. "If they try, the real estate people tell them the house costs
a lot more than it really does. And the banks don't let them get loans."
Barry thought it was a good thing. Eddie wasn't sure. It didn't sound fair to him, but his
father assured him it had to be that way. "It keeps property values
high," he told him. "Besides, there are parts of Long Island that
don't allow Jews. I wouldn't want to live where I'm not wanted, would you?
It's
best to stick to your own kind," his father said. "So, you see, it's
the way it's supposed to be." Eddie still wasn't sure. At times, he
felt bad about how he lived, especially when he studied about segregation in
school. But most of his friends didn't seem to question what their parents told
them, including his old Brooklyn buddy, Arnie Stein, whose family had moved to
the nearby town of Bethpage. His mother now drove, and she took him to visit
Arnie most weekends. He even found enough kids in the new
neighborhood to play stickball. Although the Dodgers had moved from Brooklyn to
Los Angeles, Eddie still imitated his hero, Duke Snider, when he was at bat.
He'd sweep the stick over the plate three times before lifting it to his
shoulders. Some of his new friends even began calling him The Duke. His father took a new job with a
company on Long Island and drove to work everyday. He seemed much happier now.
His mother played mah jong with the women and the subject of race rarely came
up. Eddie even won ten dollars in a writing
contest for an essay on the topic, "Justice and the American Way,"
sponsored by the Veterans of Foreign Wars. His parents were proud when he donated
half of his winnings to the NAACP. |